I don’t let myself think too much about the reasons behind all this—how she came to this country pregnant at the age I am now, under the most desperate of circumstances, fleeing not only poverty but also violence. How it was this wobbly life for them or none at all. How that’s not a choice she should be punished for, but a success story to be celebrated.

I wouldn’t be capable of doing what she did—what she does—should I have been born in El Salvador instead of Beverly Hills. She works three jobs.

I think about my parents’ donation to Dr. Wilson’s charity for “underprivileged children,” which is so general as to mean almost nothing. I say a silent prayer that it’s going to an organization that will help families like Cesar’s or to somewhere like RAICES, which helps reunite families separated at the border.

“Of course. I’m always here for you, even if I’m not here-here,” I say, and wonder if this is what Cesar’s mom says to him, too, to make him feel better about the possibility of her being taken. Cesar once showed me the laminated card he keeps in his pocket at all times, like a security blanket. It has the telephone numbers of two distant cousins, one who lives here in Los Angeles, the other in Texas, backup plans one and two for where he’d go live should his mom be deported. It also has Rita’s number, his first-grade teacher’s, his grandma’s back in El Salvador, and then, at the very bottom, mine. Of course, Cesar’s mom has never told me outright she’s undocumented—that would be too big a risk—but I’ve known her and Cesar for four years. It would take a leap of active ignorance for me not to understand why he carries that card in his pocket, what he means when he says backup. “You know that, right?”

When I think about that list—and despite my best efforts, I often do—I cry.

“Yup, and that’s why I’m willing to break my No Hufflepuff rule for you,” he says. He opens the book for me to start reading, but then he closes it and turns to me instead. He puts out a fist for one last bump. “Congrats, Chlo. I’m really proud of you.”

—