There was a collective squeal of enthusiasm from the Merry Widows. Much to their credit, her friends didn’t want to burst her bubble quite yet with the cost of a venue or the logistics of the tent or the impossibility of booking a caterer in the summer. Ming bit her tongue before divulging stories about clients, the half-million-dollar weddings, and the divorces two years later. There was no reason to spoil the fun tonight. Let the hard truths be saved for tomorrow.

“The minute you have the date, call San Ysidro Ranch and book the honeymoon suite. That will be my gift to the bride and groom!” Toots and Penny had a special relationship, forged in the early days of Toots’s widowhood when Penny spent a whole summer in one of her guest rooms working as Toots’s personal assistant. Truthfully, she got the job because Toots was lonely and sad in her grand house, but neither one would ever admit it. That was years ago but they still adored each other. Toots waved her hand and her wrist full of gold bangles in the general direction of their waiter. “Bernard, we need Veuve! We have a wedding to plan!”

From the Desktop of Dearly Beloveds and Betrotheds

Dear B & Bs . . .

My list of wishes for the Mothers of the Groom:

• Beige looks terrible on almost everyone, so skip the first part of the adage, “Wear beige, stand back, and shut up.” But the last two bits are good advice.
• Act as if it’s lovely to be included in any part of the wedding planning, even if you disagree with every decision.
• Offer no opinions, only validation to the Bride and her mother.
• Just because you’ve written a check doesn’t mean you get to write the guest list. Not even one table. Maybe not even one name.
• It’s all out of your control—the venue, the meal, the flowers, the guest list. Try to enjoy the freedom of not being in charge.
• Channel your need for attention into one nifty cha-cha for the mother-son dance.
• Be the mother-in-law you wish you had at your wedding.
• You won’t regret looking your best on the big day. But your daughter-in-law will be the most beautiful one at the wedding.
• Never, ever wear white.
• Repeat as needed: not my wedding, not my wedding.