But I couldn’t.

I couldn’t be someone else’s sidekick no matter how appealing James’s life sounded. Had he met me right after I’d split with Neil when was wallowing in self-pity and self-doubt, hating my life and wanting to be rescued from it like some modern-day Cinderella, I would have been ecstatic to make a life with a jet-setting, loving, and over-the-top-sexy millionaire.

The thing was, though, I was no longer that woman. I left that woman on a boat in Greece—or maybe I left her on the pier in Santorini. When I met Josh.

Josh.

Oh, my god. Meeting Josh had been the catalyst for living my bigger life, the reason I couldn’t be with James.

Now, that’s ironic, Alanis Morissette.

Chapter 22

Being on a boat in the middle of a remote body of water, several hours’ drive from the nearest international airport with a wonderful man you’ve just broken up with, sucks. I do not recommend it.

As we waited for the boat to get back to shore, we sat up on deck in silence—me (sort of) reading a book on my Kindle and James flicking through a day-old Auckland newspaper. Logistics were the last thing I wanted to talk about, but I had to say something. We were supposed to be in New Zealand for two more days, but I just wanted to go home.

Even so, it shook me when James’s voice cut into my thoughts. “I’m guessing you won’t want to stay—in New Zealand, I mean—at least with me.”

At least with me.

It was one of those definitive moments. I had to be a grown-up, to rip off the Band-Aid. So what if it tore out a large chunk of my heart with it? “I think I should go home,” I said simply, stealing a look at him. His jaw tightened and he nodded.

“Of course. We can drive to Queenstown as soon as we get back to shore. I’ll organise your flight when we get to the airport.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that—”

He put up a hand and smiled weakly. “Let me.” It was my turn to nod.

The time passed as it does. I’m not usually one to wish my life away, but that morning could not have ended sooner. Eventually, we got to the dock and I felt a rush of relief as I stepped onto dry land, one step closer to home.

Back in the car, as we made our way to Queenstown, I sat with my phone clasped between my hands, my knuckles white. As soon as I had service, I wanted to contact Lindsey. Although, what was I going to say?

Hi. James and I broke up so I’m coming home early. He’s amazing and good to me, but he wants me to travel around the world with him and give up everything I’ve only just rediscovered, so I had to end it. Oh, by the way, can you pick me up from the airport?