Because I didn’t want that.

I didn’t want a part-time vacation lover. If I was going to be with someone, I was going to be with them—long-distance, yes, probably at first, but I wanted a proper relationship, a home with someone, a life together.

Or, nothing. I was prepared to be on my own if it came to that, but I hoped it wouldn’t. I held my breath, steeling myself for the worst.

“Yes!” he replied excitedly. “I wanted to show you something.” Oh-kay. I let out the breath, intrigue trumping nerves. “Hang on a sec,” he said, as he faffed about with his iPad. “Here,” he said, finally. “This is what I wanted to show you.”

I would never in a million bazillion years have guessed what it was. It was the view of a city skyline and peeking over the top was the Sydney Harbour Bridge.

Josh was in Sydney.

Dozens of emotions flooded through me, each competing for my attention—excitement, relief, bafflement, guilt. In moments, elation barged its way to the forefront. Josh was in my home city.

“Surprise!” he said, turning the camera back around to face him.

I was laughing and heard myself say, “Oh, wow. Oh, my god. You’re here!” He grinned.

Lindsey’s curiosity must have got the better of her, because she was suddenly behind me, leaning over the back of the couch and peering at the iPad.

“Hi,” she said to Josh over my shoulder.

“Hi!” said Josh to my best friend. I figured I should introduce them.

“Josh—Lindsey—Lindsey—Josh.” They waved at each other. The whole thing was surreal.

Lindsey patted me on the shoulder and left the room. She must have thought I’d be okay on my own and that I wouldn’t completely screw everything up.

Then I blurted out my most pressing question. “So, what are you doing here?” Oops. No, that’s not right. “Sorry, I mean, it’s great, but …”

“But what am I doing here?” He laughed good-naturedly and I shook my head at my own ineloquence. It’s a miracle that I’m paid to teach English.

“Well, things have moved incredibly fast with the new team and I’m in Sydney to set it all up. Anyway, there’s lots to tell you about, but most importantly, I’m here for another week and I want to see you!”

The details started to sink in. “So, they chose Sydney then?”

“Sorry, what?”

“Sydney over Mumbai.”

“Oh, yes. They did. I’ve been dying to tell you.”

Then it hit me with full force. Josh was in Sydney. He was just a car ride away and he wanted to see me, and I so wanted to see him. I hadn’t realised how much I’d missed him, even though it had only been a few weeks since Hawaii.

And yet …

He was only in Sydney for a week. Then he’d be gone again, and I’d still be waiting for him to figure out what he wanted. I’d still be in a vacationship.

Maybe it was best that I didn’t see him. Maybe I really had decided to be on my own. I felt the prickle of tears in my eyes and blinked them back.