“Exactly. And then all that shite he was saying about just being friends. If you ask me, he’s deluding himself.” I was beyond relieved to hear Siobhan’s take on the whole thing. Just knowing I had someone to talk to, that there was something to talk about, made me feel better.

I looked over at Josh and watched him for a moment, Marie’s voice in my head. She’d cornered me on the last night of our sailing trip, asking when I was going to Chicago to see Josh. I’d quipped something about holiday romances and she’d replied—quite pointedly—with, “That boy loves you, Sarah.”

I’d played it down at the time, but her words had stuck, running through my head dozens of times since—especially any time I wanted out of my bizarre love triangle.

Yes, living a double love life was my own doing and, for the most part, I loved having Josh and James in my life. But there had been some darker moments in the past few months when it had all got too much, and I’d just wanted to call it quits.

With James, it was imposter syndrome. What will happen when he discovers that I’m nothing like the woman he thinks I am? He’s far too worldly and sophisticated for me. Self-doubt really can be insidious.

And with Josh—well, before anything romantic happened between us, he’d been very clear that he didn’t want a relationship—ever. Like I’d thought at the time, when a man tells you he wants to stay single, it’s usually because he wants to stay single. So, why give your heart to someone who doesn’t want it?

In those dark moments, I would ask myself why I’d opened my heart in the first place. I had put a moratorium on romantic entanglements and a week into my trip to Greece I’d broken my own rule—twice.

But the simple truth was, when you feel something after being numb for so long—something real and vibrant and closer to yourself than you’ve felt in ages—you can’t ignore it. You can’t pretend that it was a holiday fling and just something for the memory books.

You have to see where it can go, what it can be, if it’s as wonderful in reality as it is in your memory. And I had felt something—with both of them.

But when I heard the word “vacationship” come out of Josh’s mouth, it raised all the doubts I had. What did it even mean?

Josh must have sensed me watching him, because he looked up and our eyes met again. He smiled and on reflex I returned it; he had a lovely smile.

He pocketed his phone and headed over, and I reached down and squeezed Siobhan’s hand. “Thanks. Let’s talk more another time,” I said quietly. She squeezed mine in return.

“I got some great shots,” said Josh. “I’ll share them with you later. I even got some video footage I think you’ll love.” He threw his arm around my shoulder and kissed the top of my head—boyfriend behaviour. Siobhan flashed me a tiny eye roll and I couldn’t have agreed more. This is getting ridiculous.