‘Rab doesn’t want to go.’ She picked at a bit of rough skin on her thumb. ‘He says it’s too difficult.’

Ann nodded. ‘I thought there had to be something. Keith asked him and couldn’t get a straight answer.’

‘It’s different for Keith. He was too young to be called up, wasn’t he? And all his classmates were the same, so they never went.’

‘But?’

‘Well, Rab’s a couple of years older than Keith and most of his friends did go. Once Kitchener and Derby got their hooks in, it was bound to happen.’

Ann poked around at what Isobel wasn’t saying. ‘Rab only has the use of one eye, though, because of the lime plaster thing. He would have been exempt, surely?’

‘The government still tried to call him up. They said that as long as he could fire a rifle, he could serve his country.’

‘So what happened?’

‘It’s all very difficult for him.’ Isobel shrugged. ‘It wasn’t straightforward. He wanted to go and do his bit, but of course he had to pass a medical. It was the same for everyone.’

Ann waited. She had a dozen questions.

‘He went for the tests and they told him he had a problem with his heart, and it meant he couldn’t fight or be anywhere near the front line.’

‘That wasn’t his fault, though.’

‘I know that. And he knows it too. But almost all of his friends signed up, and quite a number didn’t come back.’

‘Like Finlay.’

‘And Harris and Gregor.’ Isobel rearranged the shirt on the ironing board. ‘And a lot of those who did get home weren’t the same afterwards.’

Ann leaned forward, trying to touch Isobel but she couldn’t reach her. ‘Like I said, it wasn’t his fault.’

‘You don’t understand.’ Isobel felt for the old penny which she still wore around her neck and rubbed it as though it might help her explain. ‘He has this guilt. He thinks he should have gone, regardless. It’s nonsense, but it’s how he feels. And when he has gone to the Armistice parades in the past, he thinks everyone is judging him. His friends that are there have medals on their chests, and he has nothing.’ Isobel pulled her handkerchief from her pocket and her eyes filled with tears. ‘He wants to go so his friends will understand that he respects them, and that he believes what they did for the country, and for him, matters.’ She sniffed and wiped her nose. ‘But the guilt is terrible and he can’t stop thinking about it.’

Ann ran her fingers along the grain of the wooden table, backwards and forwards, backwards and forwards. ‘I don’t think any of us are in a position to judge other people.’