His mouth tightens and his eyes redden around the edges. “There’s not a second that goes by that I don’t beat myself up for not doing more for you. For not seeing the truth earlier, for not steppin’ in before it was almost too late—hell, before it even happened at all.”

My chin starts to quiver. I bite down on the inside of my cheek to try and stop it. I will not let him take what little dignity I have left. I will not let him break me. He’s too little, too fucking late.

“I failed you in so many ways, kid. I didn’t protect you, and I didn’t do enough for you when I finally did learn the truth. I should’ve got you into counseling. I should’ve pushed you more when it came to pressin’ charges. I should’ve done something before—”

“Before I turned into a mean ol’ drunk just like my daddy,” I cut in coldly.

His brow furrows.

I shrug. “I was always going to end up here, wasn’t I? Like father, like son, right?” I say with a bitter smile. “Someone’s gotta carry the family legacy after all. I’m not stupid. It’s only a matter of time before the shit he fed me all those years poisons anything good left in me.” In a sing-song, I finish, “The cycle always repeats itself.”

His frown deepens. “You don’t really believe that, do you?”

I scoff. “That I’m damaged beyond repair?” I spread my hands. “Look at me. Of course, I fucking do.”

His brown eyes shine with unshed tears. “Waylon...”

I glare down at the table, unable to look at him any longer. Unable to stop the words from barreling out of my throat. “It’s already happening. I can’t stop it.” I give my head a little shake, my voice shrinking to a whisper as the confession spills out of me. “Why even bother fighting it? Why not just...skip all the bullshit in between and just rush the inevitable?”

My uncle’s a little slower to respond this time. “What does that mean?”

I run my fingertip over the table, drawing little figure eights. “What do you think it means? It’s only a matter of time before my luck runs out. Might as well see how far I can take it. First, my dad tries and fails, then the gun jams, and now I’ve even speedballed and lived to tell the tale. Hell, I wasn’t even meant to be born. I mean, fuck, I could probably jump off the bridge and be carried away by some massive fucking bird before—”

A choked noise sounds from the other side of the room.

I snap my head up, colliding with a pair of wide, dark blue eyes that look like they’ve just seen a ghost. Will’s face is pale as shit and my stomach drops.