Although I’ve fake-kissed several guys, everything about Nick feels different. His lips are soft, and he presses them against mine gently, sweetly, and I know that this, finally, is what it’s supposed to feel like.

He leaves, eventually, kissing me good-bye once more on the top of my head and promising to see me in a few hours.

And for a long time after he’s gone, I can still feel the tingle of his lips against mine.

Chapter 16

I want to tell you who I am.
I want you to see me deep inside.
I want to tell you all the things that make me, me.
I have nothing left to hide.

—“JUST ME,” STAR BECK
ALBUM: THIS LIFE

Chapter 16

“Welcome to open-mic night at Muggs, sponsored by Mecham’s Music,” says my father in a booming voice as he steps onto the small stage at the downtown coffeehouse. He’s dressed in dark jeans and a pale blue collared shirt. “As most of you know, I’m Pete Mecham, the owner of Mecham’s Music.”

Nick takes my hand. I’m glad he’s here. His warm fingers laced through mine make me feel like I’m not quite so alone.

“Those of you who have been here before know how this works,” my father continues. “But I see a few new faces, so I’ll explain it quickly. For everyone who has signed up, you’ll have a chance to perform one song.”

My father calls a name into the mic, and a college-age guy with a plaid shirt and faded jeans shuffles to the stage, accepts the guitar my father hands him and starts to play a Nickelback song.

“This is cool,” Nick says, leaning in and speaking softly into my ear as the guy belts out “Photograph.” I can feel his breath on me, and a tingle runs down my spine. “Thanks for inviting me.”

“Thanks for coming,” I whisper back. When the Nickelback guy has finished, my father calls up a blond girl named Ashley, who comes to the stage, sits down at the piano and starts to slowly pick out a Jewel tune on the keyboard. Everyone claps when she’s done. She smiles, looks relieved and slinks back to her table, where she’s sitting with an older woman.

My father thanks Ashley for her “terrific rendition of one of Jewel’s most popular songs,” then looks at a notecard and says, “Well, it appears we have a new musician joining us tonight. I’d like to welcome to the stage . . . Amanda Pepper.”

Nick nudges me.

“But I didn’t—” I begin, panicked.