BooksBarbecue
Back When You Wish Save as PDF
Chapters (28)
  1. Cover Page
  2. Title Page
  3. Dedication
  4. Acknowledgments
  5. Chapter 1
  6. Chapter 2
  7. Chapter 3
  8. Chapter 4
  9. Chapter 5
  10. Chapter 6
  11. Chapter 7
  12. Chapter 8
  13. Chapter 9
  14. Chapter 10
  15. Chapter 11
  16. Chapter 12
  17. Chapter 13
  18. Chapter 14
  19. Chapter 15
  20. Chapter 16
  21. Chapter 17
  22. Chapter 18
  23. Chapter 19
  24. Chapter 20
  25. Chapter 21
  26. Epilogue
  27. About the Author
  28. Copyright Page

My heart feels heavy. I can’t quite absorb it all. The fact that my dad owns a music store makes me feel buoyant and depressed at the same time. We obviously have something in common—which makes me feel good in a strange way.

“So this isn’t the first letter my father has sent me?”

Mariska hesitates, then shakes her head.

“No,” she says. She looks up and meets my eye. “He’s been writing to you once a month for the last six years.”

Chapter 5

I’m gonna dance my last dance,
I’m gonna sing my last song,
I’m gonna throw out my high heels
And put
my blue jeans on.

—“MY BLUE JEANS,” STAR BECK
ALBUM: SIMPLY STAR

image
Chapter 5

Dave, my bass player, scoops me up in his arms and gives me loud kisses on both cheeks. It’s the last night of the tour, so the mood is particularly cheerful backstage. My band guys, of course, have no idea anything is wrong. Thanks to years in the spotlight, I’m great at putting on a happy face.

“You’re our little Super Star!” Dave exclaims. Everyone laughs. The guys have a week off before we hit the recording studio to start laying down tracks for the next album, which will be released in February. I’ll have the week off the road, but of course I won’t actually be off. Lance Mojave will be working me to death on the dance moves he wants me to learn for the video for the first single off the album, which we haven’t even recorded yet.

“You okay, Star?” Ben whispers in my ear.

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not,” he says. “Something’s wrong.”

“I’m fine,” I repeat. Ben looks at me for a long moment.

“You sure you don’t want to talk about it?” he asks.

“I’m sure.” I shake my head.

“Well, whenever you do, you know where to find me.”

“I know,” I say.

Now if I only knew where to find myself.

image

I don’t see Mom backstage. That’s typical. When the show is over, she usually gets the limo to take her back to the hotel so that she’s already showered, waiting and watching TV in bed or preparing to go out for drinks when I get back. But tonight, I have a sneaking suspicion that Mariska told her what happened and she’s avoiding me.

I eat a small snack of carrots, celery and mango slices and change into my street clothes—faded jeans, a black Amy Tangerine HAPPINESS T-shirt, black and white Pumas and a pink Dodgers baseball cap. I walk outside to tell Mike and Tiny Joe that I’m ready to go.