“We couldn’t have made it this far without each other,” she continues, staring into my eyes. I blink at her, not sure what to say. I mean, I guess it’s true. I couldn’t have become a pop star if she hadn’t pushed me into it. And she couldn’t have become a richer-than-God woman if I hadn’t become a pop star.

“I really love you, honey,” Mom continues. I stare at her for a moment and realize that it’s the first time I’ve heard her say that with no ulterior motive for years.

“I know, Mom,” I say, taking a bite of my lettuce. I chew slowly and swallow. “I love you too.”

But I can’t shake the sense that something isn’t quite right.

Chapter 4

Are you satisfied
Now that you’ve done what you’ve
done?
Can you look me in the eye
Now that it’s all come undone?

—“UNDONE,” STAR BECK
ALBUM: SECRETS OF A STAR

Chapter 4

After our late lunch, I change into my favorite pink track pants and a matching hoodie, put my hair in a ponytail (despite Don’s horrified protests—“I spent an hour on that hair!”) and sit down with Karen Davidson, the Dial reporter, in a suite on the second floor of our hotel.

“You look familiar,” I tell her after we shake hands. Mariska has settled into a chair in the corner to observe the interview, as usual.

“I don’t believe we’ve ever met,” Karen says, furrowing her forehead. Well, who can blame me? These reporters all start looking the same after a while.

She launches into her interview questions, which are all pretty standard. “How have you felt about this tour? Tell us about your next album. Has life changed since you won two Grammys last year? Are you and Jesse Bishop still going strong as pop’s ‘it’ couple?”

I answer politely, my words well rehearsed. No questions about my dad so far. Everything is fine.

Then, a half hour into the interview, Karen gets a call on her cell.

“Oh no! You’re kidding!” she says into the phone, her face shocked. She glances at Mariska and puts her hand over the receiver. “My editor says there’s some problem with photo permissions. If we don’t work it out right now, we won’t be able to run Star on the cover. Can you handle this?”

Lose the cover? Mariska grabs the phone and nods.

“Hello?” she says before mouthing, I’ll be back in a minute to me. Then she steps outside the interview room, leaving Karen and me alone.

The moment the door has shut behind Mariska, Karen turns back to me. “So you and your mom have a very close relationship?” she prompts, leaning forward eagerly.

“Sure.” I shrug.

“In fact, she said just today that ‘being your mother is such a gift,’” Karen continues.