Fortunately, when you’re famous, the money and attention that cause you problems can also solve some of them. And that’s where Jesse Bishop comes in.

If I’m the most famous female teen pop star in America, Jesse Bishop is my male equivalent. We’ve known each other forever. We costarred on Family Business, and later, he guest-starred on my Disney Channel show, Secrets of My Teenage Life. We took acting lessons together when we were six, right after I got my first big break, which means that I’ve know him longer than pretty much anyone else in the industry.

As far as America knows, I’ve been dating Jesse for the last two months. The truth is, although he’s a nice guy, it’s made my skin crawl each of the six times he’s kissed me (which were all in front of dozens of cameras), because I don’t have romantic feelings for him. That and, well, he’s just a really bad kisser. Not that I have much to compare him to, but I am pretty sure that your lips aren’t supposed to hurt after you finish making out with someone. I’m also pretty sure that I’ve never seen anyone’s teeth smashing awkwardly together in any kissing scenes in movies.

I’m guessing that Jesse probably never had to learn to kiss right. He’s always making out with random fans. His manager encourages it (Jesse has a bad-boy image to maintain). Most girls are probably so thrilled to make out with him that it’s not like they’d stop in the middle and say, “You’re really bad at this.”

Bad kissing aside, Jesse is undeniably hot, with his floppy, sun-streaked surfer hair, his dimples and his broad shoulders. His management team has done an amazing job of creating a mystique around him; he’s always slightly evasive in interviews, and instead of answering personal questions, he just arches his eyebrow at the camera and winks one of his beautiful green eyes, and girls swoon. I’m not kidding; I’ve seen girls faint.

It doesn’t hurt that his last three singles—two dance hits and a romantic ballad—hit number one. He’s in People almost every week and is a frequent TRL guest host.