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Back When the Stars Go Dark Save as PDF
Chapters (83)
  1. Epigraph
  2. Maps
  3. (prologue)
  4. Part 1: Signs and Vapors
  5. (one)
  6. (two)
  7. (three)
  8. (four)
  9. (five)
  10. (six)
  11. (seven)
  12. (eight)
  13. (nine)
  14. (ten)
  15. (eleven)
  16. (twelve)
  17. Part 2: Secret Things
  18. (thirteen)
  19. (fourteen)
  20. (fifteen)
  21. (sixteen)
  22. (seventeen)
  23. (eighteen)
  24. (nineteen)
  25. (twenty)
  26. (twenty-one)
  27. (twenty-two)
  28. (twenty-three)
  29. (twenty-four)
  30. (twenty-five)
  31. (twenty-six)
  32. (twenty-seven)
  33. (twenty-eight)
  34. (twenty-nine)
  35. (thirty)
  36. (thirty-one)
  37. (thirty-two)
  38. (thirty-three)
  39. (thirty-four)
  40. (thirty-five)
  41. (thirty-six)
  42. (thirty-seven)
  43. (thirty-eight)
  44. (thirty-nine)
  45. Part 3: Time and the Maiden
  46. (forty)
  47. (forty-one)
  48. (forty-two)
  49. (forty-three)
  50. (forty-four)
  51. (forty-five)
  52. (forty-six)
  53. (forty-seven)
  54. (forty-eight)
  55. (forty-nine)
  56. (fifty)
  57. (fifty-one)
  58. (fifty-two)
  59. (fifty-three)
  60. Part 4: The Bent Grove
  61. (fifty-four)
  62. (fifty-five)
  63. (fifty-six)
  64. (fifty-seven)
  65. (fifty-eight)
  66. (fifty-nine)
  67. (sixty)
  68. (sixty-one)
  69. (sixty-two)
  70. (sixty-three)
  71. (sixty-four)
  72. (sixty-five)
  73. (sixty-six)
  74. (sixty-seven)
  75. (sixty-eight)
  76. (sixty-nine)
  77. (seventy)
  78. Dedication
  79. (acknowledgments)
  80. (author’s note)
  81. BY PAULA MCLAIN
  82. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  83. What’s next onyour reading list?

“Nothing.” Without moving, I wrestled with myself. “Just…do you think I’m a good person?”

“What?” She shook the bowl upside down over the oiled pan, which caught the dough with a satisfying thump. “What kind of question is that? Of course I do, honey.”

Suddenly Lenore made a strange sort of noise from her chair, almost a growl, and it rattled me. It was one of those moments when I thought the bird knew too much, could sense things. “Never mind,” I retracted.

Eden opened the oven and put the pan inside, then she came over and sat next to me at the kitchen table, untying her apron so that it hung over her lap. Particles of flour fell to the floor like dust, but she ignored them. “Are you thinking about your brother and sister, Anna? We can try to find them if you want. You must still worry about them a lot.”

Lenore flapped her good wing out and began to preen, separating and rearranging her feathers with her beak. It seemed a calculated gesture to me. As if she was pretending not to listen, but in fact had begun to pay even closer attention. “They’re probably fine, right?” I threw out.

“I don’t know,” she said softly. “They’re how old now?”

“Eight and nine.”

“Ah. Well, there’s one way to find out. Let us call Linda. Maybe you could even visit them. I’m sure that kind of thing gets arranged all the time.”

A sharp pinch came at my side, just below my rib cage. “I don’t think I want to visit. Not right now. You can ask, though. Call Mrs. Stephens. I’d like to know if they’re okay.”

“Sure, honey.” She reached for her apron strings and cupped the loose bundle in her hands, thinking for a moment. Then she said, “I don’t know anything about those kids, but I can tell you they don’t blame you for what happened.”

“How do you know?” I couldn’t look up.

“Because it wasn’t your fault.”

I felt heat in my cheeks, and pressure. More than anything, I didn’t want to cry. Not in front of Lenore, who would never forget it. “Well…anyway.”

“No, listen to me, Anna.” She sat forward and reached for my hands. “This is important. Sometimes grown-ups fall down. Your mom was probably in a world of hurt. I don’t know for sure. What happened to your family might be because she felt too much pain, or because the world got to be more than she could handle. Or hell, any number of reasons. But not because of you, sweetheart. You didn’t do anything wrong.”