BooksBarbecue
Back When the Stars Go Dark
Chapters (83)
  1. Epigraph
  2. Maps
  3. (prologue)
  4. Part 1: Signs and Vapors
  5. (one)
  6. (two)
  7. (three)
  8. (four)
  9. (five)
  10. (six)
  11. (seven)
  12. (eight)
  13. (nine)
  14. (ten)
  15. (eleven)
  16. (twelve)
  17. Part 2: Secret Things
  18. (thirteen)
  19. (fourteen)
  20. (fifteen)
  21. (sixteen)
  22. (seventeen)
  23. (eighteen)
  24. (nineteen)
  25. (twenty)
  26. (twenty-one)
  27. (twenty-two)
  28. (twenty-three)
  29. (twenty-four)
  30. (twenty-five)
  31. (twenty-six)
  32. (twenty-seven)
  33. (twenty-eight)
  34. (twenty-nine)
  35. (thirty)
  36. (thirty-one)
  37. (thirty-two)
  38. (thirty-three)
  39. (thirty-four)
  40. (thirty-five)
  41. (thirty-six)
  42. (thirty-seven)
  43. (thirty-eight)
  44. (thirty-nine)
  45. Part 3: Time and the Maiden
  46. (forty)
  47. (forty-one)
  48. (forty-two)
  49. (forty-three)
  50. (forty-four)
  51. (forty-five)
  52. (forty-six)
  53. (forty-seven)
  54. (forty-eight)
  55. (forty-nine)
  56. (fifty)
  57. (fifty-one)
  58. (fifty-two)
  59. (fifty-three)
  60. Part 4: The Bent Grove
  61. (fifty-four)
  62. (fifty-five)
  63. (fifty-six)
  64. (fifty-seven)
  65. (fifty-eight)
  66. (fifty-nine)
  67. (sixty)
  68. (sixty-one)
  69. (sixty-two)
  70. (sixty-three)
  71. (sixty-four)
  72. (sixty-five)
  73. (sixty-six)
  74. (sixty-seven)
  75. (sixty-eight)
  76. (sixty-nine)
  77. (seventy)
  78. Dedication
  79. (acknowledgments)
  80. (author’s note)
  81. BY PAULA MCLAIN
  82. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  83. What’s next onyour reading list?

Tally falls quiet, her blue eyes still. I watch her hands curl around the coffee cup in front of her and suddenly wish I had stayed in bed.

“What?” I make myself ask. “What is it? You’ve had another vision, haven’t you?”

“I don’t exactly know how to tell you this, Anna, but Polly’s gone. They won’t find her body for some time, but they will find it, and her killer, too. She’ll be at peace finally. Not for a while, but she’s going to get there.”

I feel a stuttering wave of sadness. A weariness that’s bone deep, endless. There are too many dead bodies behind me. And too much darkness ahead. “Her poor family. At least they’ll have a body to bury. Maybe that will comfort them.”

“I hope so,” she replies gently. “Her murder won’t be for nothing, though. Polly is going to be very, very important going forward. She will change things about how we look for the missing.”

“You mean the Internet,” I say.

“Other things, too. It will all unfold in time. She won’t disappear. Decades from now, we’ll still be saying her name.”

I nod, wanting more than anything for Tally to be right.

“There’s still work for you to do, Anna,” she continues. “You really could stay here with us forever. I love having you around. But I believe you’re supposed to go home now. Your family needs you.”

I look away. The softest, most terrible wrecking ball smashes at my heart from the top of the sky. “I can’t.”

“Maybe you don’t think so, but you’re ready for this. Your son should have you there. He needs his mother.”

Everything goes sideways then. I start to cry, but silently. I can’t catch my breath long enough to make a sound.

“How old is he?”

“Almost seven months,” I whisper. I haven’t let myself think about how it would feel to tell this story, not to Tally or anyone. I’ve been hiding from it. The pain and the regret. The unbearable weight of my guilt. “He wasn’t there the day Sarah died.”

“What happened?” Tally’s voice is gentle and compassionate. I know that I have to find a way to answer her. To tell the truth, no matter how impossible that feels. No matter how she’ll look at me afterward. No matter what happens next.