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Back When the Stars Go Dark Save as PDF
Chapters (83)
  1. Epigraph
  2. Maps
  3. (prologue)
  4. Part 1: Signs and Vapors
  5. (one)
  6. (two)
  7. (three)
  8. (four)
  9. (five)
  10. (six)
  11. (seven)
  12. (eight)
  13. (nine)
  14. (ten)
  15. (eleven)
  16. (twelve)
  17. Part 2: Secret Things
  18. (thirteen)
  19. (fourteen)
  20. (fifteen)
  21. (sixteen)
  22. (seventeen)
  23. (eighteen)
  24. (nineteen)
  25. (twenty)
  26. (twenty-one)
  27. (twenty-two)
  28. (twenty-three)
  29. (twenty-four)
  30. (twenty-five)
  31. (twenty-six)
  32. (twenty-seven)
  33. (twenty-eight)
  34. (twenty-nine)
  35. (thirty)
  36. (thirty-one)
  37. (thirty-two)
  38. (thirty-three)
  39. (thirty-four)
  40. (thirty-five)
  41. (thirty-six)
  42. (thirty-seven)
  43. (thirty-eight)
  44. (thirty-nine)
  45. Part 3: Time and the Maiden
  46. (forty)
  47. (forty-one)
  48. (forty-two)
  49. (forty-three)
  50. (forty-four)
  51. (forty-five)
  52. (forty-six)
  53. (forty-seven)
  54. (forty-eight)
  55. (forty-nine)
  56. (fifty)
  57. (fifty-one)
  58. (fifty-two)
  59. (fifty-three)
  60. Part 4: The Bent Grove
  61. (fifty-four)
  62. (fifty-five)
  63. (fifty-six)
  64. (fifty-seven)
  65. (fifty-eight)
  66. (fifty-nine)
  67. (sixty)
  68. (sixty-one)
  69. (sixty-two)
  70. (sixty-three)
  71. (sixty-four)
  72. (sixty-five)
  73. (sixty-six)
  74. (sixty-seven)
  75. (sixty-eight)
  76. (sixty-nine)
  77. (seventy)
  78. Dedication
  79. (acknowledgments)
  80. (author’s note)
  81. BY PAULA MCLAIN
  82. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  83. What’s next onyour reading list?

I get out and, putting Cricket in her harness, notice a group of women nearby, zipping windbreakers over exercise clothes. One of them is Emily, and I feel proud of her. Surprised, too. This is a big step for her. Seconds later I spot Hector stamping his boots as he waits, as if his feet are already cold. More likely it’s anxiety he’s feeling, at the idea he could find his sister, too late. Or not find her at all.

It’s strange to see him and Emily standing less than twenty feet apart. In Cameron’s fifteen years of life, they’ve shared her in a blind and disconnected way, knowing utterly different versions of the same girl, versions that have never touched. But just now, they almost do.

The organizer is Bill Muncy, Caitlyn’s father. As he splits the party into smaller units, I quickly say hello to Hector, and then pull alongside Emily so that I end up in her group. I haven’t seen her since before Shannan’s body was found, and want to know how she’s doing.

She seems relieved to have something to do with her fear this morning. I feel the same as the party fans out from the parking lot. Our group has been assigned to the northernmost section of the beach, where most of the driftwood is localized. The tide brings it in and leaves it here in sun-bleached piles, where for decades teenagers and artists and free spirits have scavenged through the pieces to make castaway-looking shelters and strange, elaborate sculptures, all cobbled together naturally, anchored in the sand.

I’ve always found the structures beautiful, but today the wind is cold and the sun is hidden, and we’re not here as tourists, but to look for a body, or a murder site.

“You found that girl,” Emily says as we begin to walk. Her voice is brittle, fragile sounding. “What does this mean for my daughter?”

“We don’t know yet, unfortunately. But in a way this might be good news, Emily. The FBI is helping us now. We have a lot more hands on deck and more resources. I’m really hopeful something will click soon. We’re going to find her.”

When she doesn’t respond, I follow her eyes to a long pile of driftwood, where there are hollow places, shadowy areas that someone will search today, carefully, and even painstakingly. From the tension in Emily’s body, I can guess what she’s thinking, that “finding” Cameron doesn’t necessarily mean bringing her home alive.