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Back When the Stars Go Dark Save as PDF
Chapters (83)
  1. Epigraph
  2. Maps
  3. (prologue)
  4. Part 1: Signs and Vapors
  5. (one)
  6. (two)
  7. (three)
  8. (four)
  9. (five)
  10. (six)
  11. (seven)
  12. (eight)
  13. (nine)
  14. (ten)
  15. (eleven)
  16. (twelve)
  17. Part 2: Secret Things
  18. (thirteen)
  19. (fourteen)
  20. (fifteen)
  21. (sixteen)
  22. (seventeen)
  23. (eighteen)
  24. (nineteen)
  25. (twenty)
  26. (twenty-one)
  27. (twenty-two)
  28. (twenty-three)
  29. (twenty-four)
  30. (twenty-five)
  31. (twenty-six)
  32. (twenty-seven)
  33. (twenty-eight)
  34. (twenty-nine)
  35. (thirty)
  36. (thirty-one)
  37. (thirty-two)
  38. (thirty-three)
  39. (thirty-four)
  40. (thirty-five)
  41. (thirty-six)
  42. (thirty-seven)
  43. (thirty-eight)
  44. (thirty-nine)
  45. Part 3: Time and the Maiden
  46. (forty)
  47. (forty-one)
  48. (forty-two)
  49. (forty-three)
  50. (forty-four)
  51. (forty-five)
  52. (forty-six)
  53. (forty-seven)
  54. (forty-eight)
  55. (forty-nine)
  56. (fifty)
  57. (fifty-one)
  58. (fifty-two)
  59. (fifty-three)
  60. Part 4: The Bent Grove
  61. (fifty-four)
  62. (fifty-five)
  63. (fifty-six)
  64. (fifty-seven)
  65. (fifty-eight)
  66. (fifty-nine)
  67. (sixty)
  68. (sixty-one)
  69. (sixty-two)
  70. (sixty-three)
  71. (sixty-four)
  72. (sixty-five)
  73. (sixty-six)
  74. (sixty-seven)
  75. (sixty-eight)
  76. (sixty-nine)
  77. (seventy)
  78. Dedication
  79. (acknowledgments)
  80. (author’s note)
  81. BY PAULA MCLAIN
  82. ABOUT THE AUTHOR
  83. What’s next onyour reading list?

Walking me back to his truck, he said, “If you’re going to be out here on your own, let’s get you smart about it, so you can take care of yourself.”

“I can take care of myself already,” I said, putting up my guard automatically.

“Things have been hard on you. I know that. You’ve had to be tough to get through it, but toughness isn’t the same as strength, Anna.”

It was as if he had shined a light directly into my eyes, into the crevice in my heart I thought I’d hidden better. “What do you mean?”

We’d reached the truck and climbed in. He settled himself behind the wheel, seeming in no hurry to answer my question. Finally he turned to me and said, “Linda told us what happened to your mom, honey.”

Linda was Mrs. Stephens, my social worker. All I could do now was pretend I didn’t care what he knew or didn’t, what he thought of me or didn’t. “So?”

“I can’t even imagine what that must have been like for a kid your age. Honestly. It breaks my heart.”

Whatever thoughts were in my head vanished with a forced pop. On autopilot, I inched nearer to the door handle.

Hap noticed and grew very still. Only his eyes seemed to move and they saw everything. “I won’t stop you if you want to run away, but if you could take a chance on us and stay, I can teach you things that might help you later. Things that have helped me. About being in the woods.”

Keeping my eyes on the front windshield, the scrim of dust above the wiper blades, I shrugged to let him know he didn’t have my full attention.

“Nature demands our respect, Anna. It has a brutal side for sure, but if you can learn its language, there’s peace to be found, and comfort too. The best kind of medicine I know.”

“I’m fine the way I am.” I faced him, daring him to say otherwise.

“Of course you are. How about one lesson before we head home, though? I can teach you how to find true north. An easy one.”

I wanted to say yes, but the word had gotten stuck a long time ago, caught and fixed like a marble in the middle of my throat. Instead, I pulled my hand away from the door and into my lap.

“Or later is fine,” he said. “It can keep. Let’s go home.”