I wondered if they thought I was angling to borrow money, and maybe I was. But I wasn’t sure they even had any. This house would have cost at least a million, and if Jodi was about to give up work . . .

‘I’ll figure it out,’ I said, taking my burden back. ‘It’s just, God, I can’t believe all of this. Have you spoken to her?’

Jodi jumped slightly, catching her hand on the hot pot as she sprinkled in herbs, and then there was a fuss of running water and taps. Callum just sat, folding bread and putting it methodically into his mouth.

Eventually Jodi said, ‘She called a few times. Ali, I didn’t know what to do. I mean – it’s such a mess.’

I knew it was. Was I asking them to choose me and Mike over Karen? Karen and Jodi had never been close. I didn’t know what I wanted to happen. It was like trying to bail out a sinking boat with just my hands.

‘I know,’ I said. ‘It’s so awful. I can’t understand it, really. I wish I knew what happened.’

Jodi flicked water from her hands, then pressed them dry on a clean tea towel. The meal was on the table now, the pot steaming, the bread warmed, only slightly mangled by Cal’s hungry hands. An exhaustion hung over the table, and I realised I shouldn’t have come. These two were about to face the battle of their lives, and they didn’t need to take on my problems too.

‘I think it’s best if we stay out of it,’ Jodi said, with an air of finality. ‘I hope you understand. We’re so sorry for what you’re going through, but we can’t talk about what happened that night. We told the police what we remembered.’

She was right. However much I wanted to pull and pick over the details of that night, it wasn’t going to change. Karen and Mike had sex on the lawn. The question was whether it had been consensual. Maybe he thought it was, my mind offered up. How sickeningly easy it was to find these excuses. What I had to do now was find a way to pay these bills, let Cassie do her exams, let Benji stay in his home. Do my best to speak for Mike, when he couldn’t speak for himself.

‘Before I forget,’ I said, seating myself, knowing that as soon as I’d eaten I would leave, and be on my own through this. ‘The pictures?’ I’d texted her about them earlier.

Jodi hesitated. ‘Ali—’