Bill shrugged, passed over the rollie he’d been making, sparking it for her. I turned away; I didn’t like smoking in front of the kids. I was sure he had stronger stuff in his tin too, for once they’d gone to bed. ‘I don’t know. I thought I might stick around here. Go back up north, see the family and that. Bike about.’

Mike shook his head. ‘Mate, I wish I had the time to do that. The bank have me by the short and curlies. I miss the kids all the time – and Ali, of course. It’s tough.’ He’d taken off the jumper Callum had mocked, but was still in his shorts and polo shirt – he’d tried to slope off and shower when I got back from the police station, at the worst possible time just when everyone was arriving, but I’d hissed that there was no need. And he’d put Bill and Karen in the wrong rooms. I reminded myself it didn’t matter, that having a full house all weekend was not his idea of fun. He was doing this for me, after all.

Callum was saying, ‘Tell me about it. I looked into shared leave for when this little one comes’ – patting Jodi’s belly – ‘and I was summarily asked if Jodi had my balls in her handbag.’ I tutted, but Benji had his iPad out and hadn’t heard, I hoped. I’d have to send him to bed soon. Being together made the men regress, bantering and bawdy like schoolboys.

‘That’s terrible!’ I said. ‘And illegal.’

‘Yes, well, they’re not too sympathetic to this whole nappy-changing new-man thing. Looks like Jodi’ll be doing the lot.’

‘You’re giving up work?’ Karen raised her eyebrows. Jodi was a criminal lawyer, working with the very rich and very guilty. Her job had always defined her as much as her designer handbags and regular manicures.

‘For a while,’ she said, her hair falling over her face. ‘It just makes sense. We don’t want our baby raised by nannies. Not when we’ve fought so hard for this.’

‘But . . .’ Karen subsided. She flashed me a look – we’d discuss this later.

‘It’s bloody unfair,’ Callum continued. ‘It’s like we’re just sperm machines. Walking turkey basters.’ I saw Benji’s ears prick up at the word sperm.

‘Don’t tell me you’re joining Fathers for Justice.’ Karen rolled her eyes.

‘I think parental leave is a real issue,’ I said. ‘I wrote a piece just the other day and . . .’

Mike groaned. ‘Please, babe. It’s too hot for feminism right now.’

Karen tutted. Jodi said, soothingly, ‘Oh yes, tell us about the new career, Ali. It all came from the TV interview?’