I met with Michael Bradmore, a city official with the Healthy Environment and Body program in Chicago; Walter Clay, with the NonSmokers America Committee; James Polk, of the Walk and Breathe for Your Future campaign; and several other sponsors and officials who were all combining resources in a regional and national fight against lung cancer.

Kim was there as well, but she didn’t seem too concerned about me that night. She was pretty much mingling with everyone. So I took her cue and sat back and relaxed. There was no sense in me being alarmed. She wasn’t out to get me. She still had a job to do.

After a while, Paula’s niece TaShay slid over next to me and sat in a vacated chair to my left. I saw her do it, but I was daydreaming, too. I don’t know what I was thinking about. My mind just was not there. Sometimes you drift off in the moment of your life, you know.

“So, how do you feel about your life?” TaShay asked me.

Was she reading my mind or what? At first I just looked at her to make sure she had asked me that.

“Why do you ask?”

She shrugged. “I’m just getting into this modeling thing, but it feels like…I don’t know. I get bored with it at times.”

I smiled and looked across the room toward Paula. She probably had a lot to do with TaShay’s boredom in modeling. They were too close for her.

I said, “So you mean to tell me you haven’t done the wild and crazy after parties? You know, the hip-hop fashion shows and whatnot?”

I knew she hadn’t. I just wanted to hear what she had to say about it.

She frowned immediately. “Are you kidding me? My aunt and mother won’t let me anywhere near that stuff. They barely like me listening to it, let alone watch the videos. And you’re asking about after parties. I wish. They won’t let me go to the before parties.”

“Well, what do you think about those videos as it relates to models?” I asked her.

She smiled. “Now I can’t argue about that. I mean, they could definitely find more clothes to put on those girls.”

“Okay, so if modeling is boring at this point, then what would you rather see yourself doing?” She could have been attending college somewhere.

“Acting,” she answered. “I mean, I’m a natural at it.”

Seemed like every pretty girl wanted to act, model, sing, or dance. Or maybe that came out because they knew I was around it all the time.

“Haven’t you been in cameo movie roles?” she asked me.

I had, but that’s all they were, cameo camera shots. It wasn’t as if I had to memorize any lines or anything.

I nodded. I said, “Yeah, but I wasn’t really acting. I mean, what is acting to you?”

I wanted to challenge her. Saying it and doing it were two different things.

She picked up on my challenge and went right into role-playing. She looked me in the eyes and said, “I can make people believe what they want to believe. That’s why modeling is so boring to me. It’s two dimensional. I want to do more. I want people to feel more. I want them to be infatuated with me. Can I do that just by taking pictures? I don’t think so. I think I need to do it more with my voice, with my body, and with how I carry myself.”