I thought about calling Judi back, too, but I didn’t feel like talking to her for too long. Her conversations were laboring. I wasn’t interested in talking about the right thing, living life the right way, making the right decisions for all the right reasons, and all that other crap with her anymore. The fact was, Judi’s life was on hold while she struggled to figure herself out. I didn’t look at her as being in a better situation than anyone else, really. You didn’t become a better player by sitting on the bench and refusing to enter the playing field.

Celibacy was a cop-out for people. You didn’t like the results of what you were doing, so you quit. Whatever happened to learning from your mistakes and playing a better game?

Michelle is pretty much celibate, too, though, if she’s telling me the truth, I thought to myself. She’s been holding out for four years! Will she let me fuck her though, since I was the last?

I grinned and started laughing out loud. I was a damn mess. That kind of thinking was what got me in trouble in the first place. I just didn’t know which way was up anymore.

To kill time before Kim and my sister could call me back, I slid a movie in my DVD player; The Brothers, starring Morris Chestnut, D. L. Hughley, Bill Bellamy, and Shemar Moore. It’s crazy how on point a movie could be if you watch it at the right time. I thought about every single issue in that movie. The only issue they didn’t cover was the baby’s daddy from an estranged relationship deal. That one was new to me, too.

Finally, it was after seven, and Kim was calling me back. I was anxious to talk to her.

“Hey, what it is, girl? What it is?” I answered.

Kim paused. “Aaahh, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good, or trying to be good,” I told her.

She said, “You sound a little bit hyper to me. But anyway, I talked to a few different doctors and parenting counselors, and you know, I’ve just been adding up all of my options. Why do you ask?”

All of a sudden, the subjects of my life seemed to revolve around parent, child, and nuclear family issues. Imagine that? Just a week ago, I was a sexaholic, screwing a different woman a different way every single night.

I asked Kim, “Are you still considering picking a certain man, or doing the random sperm bank thing? I mean, I guess by picking the right man you could at least influence a little of what the child would look like.”

“Well, yeah, but some of the doctors were concerned about my weight with the whole thing. And I mean, I don’t get that, because I see plenty of women my size who have children.”

“Yeah, but do plenty of women your size go to have artificial insemination? They can’t stop the other women from getting pregnant,” I told her.