I said, “For what? Why would a healthy, sexually active guy want to abstain all of a sudden?”

“To stop from cheating yourself,” she answered. “I mean, do you realize that sex is here to enjoy your mate unconditionally. That’s why it feels how it feels and we do what we do when it’s good. And can you imagine how much stronger it would be if we actually stored it up for the right person, at the right time, for the right reasons. I mean…You know what I mean?”

She was really trying to get me to understand her point. Her passion was written all over her gleeful face, as if abstinence and celibacy were the greatest discoveries on earth.

“But what if, after all of that, you end up with a person who just doesn’t know what they’re doing?” I joked. “Then what? I mean, you just wasted all that time.”

“No you didn’t. You didn’t waste anything. You only waste it when you do it for no reason with people you don’t care about.”

I said, “So, you didn’t care about me?”

It was a good question.

She answered, “Of course I did. And I still do. That’s why I’m here with you now, telling you this. You have the potential to make a change.”

“But a change for who, and for what? Why are you trying to change me? I mean, I’m happy with how I live.”

“Are you really?”

She sounded disappointed in me. I guess she figured I should have been reaching for more.

She said, “Do you realize how much you could change in this world if you actually used your voice? The pictures only tell half of the stories.”

I said, “What does that have to do with celibacy and abstinence? And why do you feel that people would even listen to me? We’re models. We’re not politicians.”

“We don’t have to be politicians to say something, Terrance.”

“Well, anybody can say something, but to get the people to actually listen to you is something else.”

I felt like she was barking up the wrong damn tree. The argument was pointless to me. There were a lot of ways a person could be helpful to the community that had nothing to do with your personal life, or your personal statements. You could start a foundation without ever having to change who you are and what you do. Celebrities did it all the time.

Judi said, “The power that you take over your personal appetites is the same power that you’ll need to be true to what you’re doing in the public arena.”

“Well, who said I wanted to be involved in the public arena like that? That’s not my world.”

Judi looked at me and recoiled. “That’s not your world? What are you talking about? You are in the public arena. That’s why these companies pay to use your imagery, Terrance. Whether you realize it or not, you have followers. You have people who will buy certain items because you promote them. So why can’t you promote a particular lifestyle to them while you’re at it?”