“Yeah, we’re both here. Why?” Andrea questioned me.

I thought it had already been established. I had a fantasy I wanted to fulfill with the both of them.

“I thought it was already…spelled out,” I responded to her with a pause. Was I being too eager? Did I need to just let it happen instead of pushing for it? I had no idea what TaShay and Tan had in store for me. I mean, they had hinted at it a few times, but it was never a sure thing until it happened.

“How much is that experience worth to you?” Andrea asked me next.

I ran her question through my mind. How much is it worth to me? Is she trying to get me to pay for it? I asked myself. After all, she had met Brazil under the conditions of Mr. Vissel’s prostitution idea. Maybe they were now in business for themselves.

I said, “What do you mean, ‘How much is it worth to me?’ I mean, it’s a fantasy.”

If she was trying to talk money, then I was going to allow her to bring it up on her own.

“Well, fantasies sometimes have a price tag.”

“What are you trying to say?”

Andrea sighed. “You know what? This entire conversation is a mistake. We don’t have anything going on here.”

I guess I was making the sell too hard for her.

I asked, “We don’t? Well, what did Brazil say about it? She seemed pretty friendly to me when I bumped into her here last week. I mean, I’d love to hear her thoughts on it.”

There was a long pause before Andrea responded to me. “You don’t have a history with Brazil, so that’s not the problem. But you do have a history with me.”

I saw her point. It was a little awkward for both of us, but I still wanted it. More than anything, I still wanted a connection to Andrea. I was willing to accept it however she would allow. Everything else I was doing I considered experimental, but having Andrea back in my life was a real goal. So I backed off of the threesome idea.

I said, “You’re right, maybe we should just deal with each other.”

“Anyway, Brazil is not a random woman,” Andrea explained.

I no longer cared about Brazil. I just wanted Andrea back. My mind was focused back on her and her alone. I would do whatever she wanted to have her back. I wanted to make things up to her.

I said, “We don’t need Brazil, just me and you again.”

I sounded desperate but I didn’t care. My real emotions were getting the best of me. Andrea was the end of the line for me. I understood that now. All of my thoughts and actions pointed in the same direction. I needed stability. I was only getting more reckless without her, and everything else would continue to be meaningless sex. My friend Judi had it right all along.