I was wearing my favorite purple sweater and my yellow beanie. My black boots were by the front door.

It was one of the longest hour and a halfs of my life.

Finally, Mom and I were getting in the car. Nonny sat on the couch, glancing at us through the front window. She was looking at a Pinterest board of picture books. I watched her as we drove away. She looked so … I couldn’t think of the right word. None of my best Hard Reading Words seemed to fit what I was thinking. Young wasn’t quite right, and weak definitely wasn’t. Vulnerable or open, maybe. Eagerly defenseless.

Eagerly defenseless.

Was that what she saw when she looked at me? Was that a good thing or a bad thing? Maybe that was why everyone around me wanted to help, wanted to make sure I wasn’t hurt. What I did know for sure was that being a defender of the eagerly defenseless was the most important job I’d ever have.

Defend against a hurt family, a damaged or a split-apart family.

Right, Cecilia? I thought. That’s the deal.

And then we were off.

UC Boulder is known for its pretty pine trees and mountains, but I couldn’t pay much attention to that as we drove. Mom knew where I needed to go, and I spent most of the drive looking down at my backpack in my lap.

When we got to campus and Mom and I walked to the library, I watched my black boots step and step and step, and reminded myself over and over to ignore the Scared Screaming Me. Brave Me was in charge today.

Maybe because I hadn’t been paying much attention to what was happening outside of my head, it kind of surprised me when we reached the library. I looked up and counted the square, peachy-colored columns across the front. I would stand by that one right there, at the top of the stairs.

Mom put a hand on my shoulder, and I blinked.

“Honey, see that coffee shop? I’ll be right in there, okay?”

I nodded.

“Remember you need to text me every half hour.”

I nodded.

“Are you going to be all right?”

I nodded.

“You sure?”

I blinked again. “Yes. I’m sure.”

“Okay. I’ll be right over there.”

And that’s how I ended up standing on the steps of the Norlin Library on the University of Colorado-Boulder campus, with a big poster of Cecilia Payne’s face that I’d glued right in the middle and the words MR. TRENT HICKMAN, THIS IS CECILIA. I’d tried to carry it facing away from Mom while we walked, and she was nice enough not to ask questions about it. This surprise was going to make her happy, too.

I had also tried to draw a telescope in one corner, but I’m not super great at drawing so it didn’t turn out very well, and I could have gotten my dad to help me with it but I wanted to surprise him, too, and everybody. Besides, it didn’t matter too much, because I knew Trent Hickman could read the words.