When he got done covering her with dirt, he sat next to her. Swollen earth. Churned and blackened snow. Cold as it was, he just sat there. Nothing watching his back but the moon. A gray dawn curdling over the land. He wiped his eyes and got up and walked to the house.

In the living room, Matty still slept, the pillow over his ear. Jack took off his coat and boots and opened the stove and put a log on the coals to feed the fire. The faint light fell on the walls, brief and quivering. The palms of his hands were throbbing. He closed the stove and got down to his underwear, shivering. Then he climbed beneath the covers and pulled Matty close. His small body. In the darkness, Jack listened to each shallow breath.

What will I do now? he thought. What will I do?

III

Life can be brutal.

Jack knew it.

So did I.

I wonder sometimes why things happen the way they do. If there’s any rhyme or reason. People say a butterfly in Brazil can flap its wings and set off a tornado in Texas. One little butterfly makes a storm halfway around the world. I think about that. Did I feel the flutter of wings when Jack and I met? Did I sense the coming tornado?

Looking back, I think I did.

Jack walked in front of my eyes, and everything changed.

I hear locker doors open and close. Metal clangs. Voices shout and laugh in the hall. Bright colors flash by. T-shirts and jeans. My first day at a new school. I’m about to open my locker. I’ve just finished calculus, and I’m thinking about limits at infinity.

I’m distracted.

I don’t see it coming when Luke Stoddard walks up and starts talking to me. I find out his name later. Luke wears a football jersey. He has straight teeth. He’s big, and he says something about showing me around, and he gets close to me, too close, so I back up against my locker. The metal presses into my shoulder blades. My elbow. The back of my head. He takes a step closer. He’s going to touch me. I know he is.

I drop my books. Loose papers drift and scatter. They decorate the hall, squares of white confetti at a ticker tape parade.

Then I see Jack.

Leave her alone.

Jack says this to Luke.

Stay away from me.

I say this to Jack, a few minutes later.

I don’t mean it.

I replay that memory in my head sometimes. The minute I first saw Jack.

Sweet, angry Jack. Quiet Jack.

Looking back, I think the butterfly flapped its wings then.

Winds started swirling.

Everything changed.

Jack woke.