“Cali, play something for us!” Gemma booms.

She looks at us uncertainly. “I haven’t even looked at a cello in ages.”

Edward reaches for her hand. “No pressure. It’s here for you anytime.”

“How can I not play it though?” she says, looking surprised at her own words. “I can’t insult the Goff.” She looks down at the beautiful instrument with reverence and a bit of trepidation, as though approaching a majestic, unpredictable horse.

Edward moves swiftly from the room and returns with a chair from the dining area. “Will this one do?” he asks. Cali nods, suddenly businesslike. He pulls a resin block from his pocket; Edward is like a stage director. Cali takes a seat, pulls the cello between her long legs, and begins to adjust the stand. Edward quietly joins us on the couch. We’re hushed watching her. Even Gemma is utterly still for the first time since I’ve met her. Cali is wearing a tank top and shorts and so as she positions herself with the cello, only her bare limbs are visible, making it seem as though the cello almost disappears into her, and she into it. She resins the bow, and then begins a little warm-up routine, making a series of minute adjustments, nimbly turning the pegs and rolling her shoulders, stretching her neck from side to side. When she’s ready, she looks back up at us.

“I’m playing you my favorite piece. It’s a Brahms. Often paired with a piano, but I like it on its own.”

We nod.

For some reason, I worry that watching someone play the cello alone in a room might be uncomfortable. I fear she’ll make odd movements or ridiculous faces. But watching Cali play is grace itself. Her beautiful, slender arms are a ballet of movement, and her face is lost in some otherworldly ecstasy. Her eyes remain closed, but a thousand emotions seem to pass over her lovely features. The music surrounds me and I think of Penny in her religious phase, talking about hearing the voice of God, and I wonder if I still believe there might be a God. I did before, in a vague, unexamined way. But now? After? I don’t know. This is one of many questions left unanswered: What does any of it mean? Why did it happen? Who the hell am I now?