I knew I wasn’t the best pick for something like wedding dress shopping, but Emily hadn’t been able to make it. I was also the maid of honor. I’d always expected it to be Emily, but something had shifted between them. Penny didn’t talk about her as much as she once had, and when I’d called Emily to see if she could come today, she’d made excuses and hurried off the phone. I’d asked Penny if something had happened, but she said of course not, they were both just busier now and didn’t see each other as much since they weren’t roommates anymore.

I wouldn’t find out until years later what my parents already knew: during the final year they’d lived together, before she moved in with Jon, Penny had been taking Emily’s half of the rent and then, for whatever reason, not using it to pay their rent. It wasn’t until they received an eviction notice that it came to a head, and then Penny denied everything. The girls had such a history that they remained friends after, but they were never the same.

“Well, this is only the first dress,” the attendant said now, saving the day. “Let’s keep moving! It always takes a little while to find the right silhouette.”

Penny gave her a brave smile and nodded. I feared this would be added to Penny’s list of ways in which I’d let her down; she’d always had a knack for keeping score. As she headed back to the dressing room, I looked at my mom helplessly and she smiled. “It’s fine,” she whispered, “there are better dresses for her. She just had to get the Cinderella one out of her system.”

There was no talking her out of a ball gown, but we found her one with a straighter skirt that nipped in at her natural waist and flattered her figure. Seeing her in the dress, my mom and I both choked up. My sister, getting married. It was a new beginning.

Because Penny never spoke about the pregnancy, it was easy enough to pretend the whole incident had never happened. It was a strange paradox with my sister: she could hold a grudge like crazy, but her own mistakes seemed to evaporate from her mind almost immediately.

Luke came with me to the wedding and seemed a bit agitated. Normally, he was super relaxed in the summertime, and he was flying high after his back-to-back gold medal and world championship wins; I couldn’t imagine what his deal was. The morning before the rehearsal dinner, we splurged on pancakes at Benny’s, a diner we’d both loved as kids, and I brought it up.

“Hey,” I asked him. “What’s going on with you, you’re acting strange.”