NOW

He loved them. He told me I had a knack for seeing outside the obvious and he thought I had potential. I told him I was thinking about making photography my major. He told me that once you came in undeclared, you had to be invited to apply for the photography program, but that if this was any indication of the work to come, he would be more than happy to extend the invitation. He told me I had some technical things to work on, and that some of the explanations in my writeup about the techniques I used were off, but he could see the raw talent that was there. I left class feeling better about myself than I had in a long time. Maybe ever.

Something was happening. It wasn’t just the photography thing or the Corey thing, although those were major aspects of it. Looking back, it’s so easy to see. Watching tapes of the show, it’s even more apparent, since the production staff did an excellent job of editing out all the boring, insignificant parts of my life. At the time, though, I had no idea.

Now it seems almost insane that I couldn’t see the changes that were taking place. But maybe that’s the problem with changes—you never notice the signs until it’s too late, until all these little things add up to become one extreme event, one that changes your life and makes you take notice.

THEN

REACTION TO THE ANNOUNCEMENT THAT I WANT TO MAJOR IN PHOTOGRAPHY (A SUMMARY):

MY MOM: Oh, sweetie, photography? That sounds like it could be . . . fun. Do they allow any kind of dual major? You could major in photography and something else. That way, you’d have a fallback plan.

GRANT: You mean, like, one of those photographers that go around and takes pics of celebs? And, like, stalks them? Oh my God, Ally, that would be, like, so cool! Did I tell you Brett and I finally had sex?

MY DAD: Didn’t you say something about majoring in broadcast journalism? I could have my friend Hugh email you some information. That’s what he majored in, you know. Now he makes six figures.

BRIAN: Learn how to take pictures? Ally, you got a 1980 on your SATs. You could do anything.

My family and friends obviously think I’m playing Russian roulette with my future. The only person I can see being remotely excited for me would be Drew, but since I’m avoiding him, this doesn’t help. Maybe everyone’s right. Maybe it is stupid. I mean, I did hate photography in the beginning. And until I got to school, I had never even shown an interest in photography, much less considered devoting my life to it.