The concern, with emphasis on the word like I could remember Ashley doing… Even after I’d been hurt by the Nine, had worse done to me by my sister, and gone to the hospital, I couldn’t remember my mother ever expressing concern for my activities as a cape. If such was expressed in Natalie’s expression and words, then I could believe it was Natalie’s.

Concern for what I was doing, the path I was walking? I could see it being my mother’s, through Natalie-as-proxy.

It made me sad and angry and frustrated all at the same time, and I didn’t have any outlets for that. The punching bag hadn’t yet arrived and been set up, and I wasn’t about to throw myself at the villains. Not that I wanted to operate that way.

The villains were so simple, so easy. Cedar Point. Bad guy central. I was supposed to dislike what they did and I did dislike it. I didn’t see anything redeeming in them, I had the power to stop them, and I wholly planned to. If I could mess with Tattletale in the process? Bad guy, I was supposed to dislike her, she’d done little that redeemed her, and it was personal, besides? Yeah. Fuck yes. But I’d do it smart, not by impulse.

Others… not so easy. My dad. Gilpatrick. Mrs. Yamada, even. They were the good guys and they hadn’t handled things perfectly. I felt varying degrees of heartbreak because of them but I couldn’t blame them. Not easy.

My life was filled with people I wanted to get angry at and couldn’t, because they were fundamentally broken and flawed. My mother. My sister. Amelia. Amy. I’d said her name and thought about her for ten lifetimes’ worth, in just the span of two years. I felt vaguely ill that I was doing so now, even if it was for the sake of doing as Natalie had asked me to.

The only thing I hated more than being victim to other people’s emotional impulses and fucked-upness was when those other people were so close to me that it all came down on my head. The furthest thing from easy.

The door opened, interrupting my thoughts. I turned my head to see.

Sveta and Ashley. Tristan absent, even though he would normally catch the same train.

“Hi,” I said.

“What are you doing standing in the dark? At least turn the lights on,” Sveta chided me.

“There’s more than enough light from the windows,” I said. “It’s bright out.”

“I’d expect that behavior from Ashley, not you,” Sveta said.

“Sounds right,” Ashley said.