“I really, really need you to figure something out,” Allie said. “If you need something from me to help you figure it out, I can try helping. But I need you to be… not this.”

He focused on breathing, absorbing the words.

“You know why I’m asking, right?”

He nodded slowly, mindful of the throbbing headache, pounding in his ear, and his sinuses. He wasn’t sure if she could see him in the gloom.

“Nobody really wants you as a husband for their daughter, or as a husband for them. They’ll go through the motions but they don’t want you.”

“Yeah,” Rain said.

“Sooner or later, they’re going to get fed up with you. Then they’ll try pairing you up with someone and getting some babies out of you, see if those kids end up being worth anything in a few years. When they do, nobody’s going to jump at the chance to be with you or marry their kid to you.”

Rain winced, tried to stand straighter.

“They’ll look back and forth and everyone will avoid eye contact, and then their eyes will settle on my mom and dad. They’ll pair me up with you, because that’s who Mom and Dad are. They’re dutiful, and they’ve sunk so much into this that they aren’t going to stop believing anytime soon.”

He knew it to be true. He’d worried about it.

“And don’t go thinking of Erin. I know you like her. I know you probably hold out some secret hope you’ll get paired up with her.”

“No,” Rain said.

“It’s fine if you do. Everyone probably does. She’s hot. But it’s because she’s hot that she’s going to end up with some forty-year-old guy close to the leadership, or she’s going to run. Give up on her now. If you don’t, I won’t just be the pity incest wife, I’m going to be the pity incest wife with a heartbroken husband.”

“You could leave.”

“Everyone thinks they’ll leave if it looks like they’re going to get a bad pairing. How many actually do? When things are close to that point, they start keeping a closer eye on you. You get asked to have a chat with the leadership. They don’t leave you the choice.”

Rain used the fence to help himself stay upright as he limped toward the kitchen.

“I’m not going to be one of the idiots that thinks she can get away,” Allie said. “I’m making peace with it.”

He paused as he saw the shadows of his destroyed tinker arms.

Slowly, he began working his way toward the ground, so he could pick up the pieces.

“Stop,” Allie said. “It’s painful to watch you. Let me.”

He let her.