“I’ll be right back. Can you watch my bag?” I said, turning to face him and walking backward as I said it. I pointed in Ashley’s direction and mouthed ‘and Ashley’.

He gave me a short nod.

The doors closed behind me as I stepped onto the train platform. I took to the air.

Why was this so important to me?

With a bird’s eye view, I could search the crowd, looking for the right hair color, the right height, the clothes, freckle-covered shoulders, chin-length hair.

Was this ego?

Was I just seeking out perverse, self-centered worship, after going without so long? Tantalus finally getting a drink of water after centuries without? A parasitic, sad wretch of a vampire like in those bad Maggie Holt movies, finally with a willing victim?

I’d found her and I hesitated.

But the train was getting away from me. I had to act.

Instinct, rather than action. I wasn’t thinking things through. I wasn’t acting according to the mission I’d planned and set out, was I?

I landed, forward momentum becoming a brisk walk, then a slower one. I saw the surprise on her face. People nearby were startled.

“Sorry,” I said. “I’m in a rush. I don’t suppose I could get your email?”

She looked around, possibly looking for Ashley, or at the crowd.

She still held her notebook, and she opened it, scribbling something down. She tore off the corner of the page, then handed it to me.

“I’ll send you something,” I said.

She nodded, wordless.

I left the ground much as I’d landed. The train was already pulling away. I flew after it.

Had I made a mistake, leaving Ashley, when she was riled up? I had no idea how well she and Tristan got along. Were my perspectives straight?

It wasn’t even nine o’clock in the morning, and I was mired in a week’s worth of doubts and second-guesses. That wasn’t me. It wasn’t supposed to be.

I checked my phone as I flew.

You have 52 unread emails.

I’d had thirty-nine or forty, after browsing the initial selection.

I was here for a reason. Kenzie was one. Ashley another. Tristan, Chris, even Sveta… and Rain in particular. Rain who was taking a day off from everything.

They needed help. That was the job, the mission. Given to me by someone I cared about, involving another someone I cared about and the team and place in the world she so desperately wanted.

I could do that. But I didn’t want to do it at the expense of people like Presley.

The feelings and the ideas took on a different light when I framed things that way.

It played into how I carried myself, after I touched down on the back of the train, on the same kind of little platform at the rear that Rain had used to jump off.