He got to his feet, and I gave him a hand. Then he jogged off, hand resting on the back of his neck, like he wanted to keep it close to his ears, to try and fail to shut off the screaming.

“He dies,” the noise of the environment rasped.

The thought that crossed my mind was of Dean. Of him next to me at an event I couldn’t remember the particulars of, whispering so it was just him and me.

Even though the sounds I’d just heard were nothing like Dean’s voice, my memory of the two words now felt like it had sounded like him, and they felt irrevocably tied to that memory of Dean.

A chill ran up my back, the sensations reminding me that some of the bleeding extended down my back.

I turned, watching over the group as they made their approach. Sveta let go of Byron’s arm, and her grip had been firm enough that the gouge that extended from one corner of his wrist to his elbow didn’t open up again in the time it took me to assert my grip with four different forcefield hands.

“I might be a few points lower than I was just saying,” I said. “Put me down as a six, maybe a five.”

“You can’t just change it to get better treatment,” Cryptid growled. “You just said you were a nine, minutes ago. Now you’re downgrading it because we’re being careful around you. You can’t be that happy around the fucking Simurgh without it being for bad reasons.”

I glanced at Sveta, and Sveta nodded once.

“That’s not what I’m doing. I’m rating myself high as far as… I had a breakthrough and that feels good. But she is getting to me.”

“Good feelings are bad, and so is her getting to you,” Cryptid told me.

“Just… nevermind,” I said.

“Worst of both worlds.”

“Shut up, Chris,” Sveta said. Her body was agitated in how it moved, a lattice of ribbons with many gaps at her arms, some gaps at her neck. “Be safe. We’ll get Dinah and come back your way, or you come find us.”

I nodded.

“Tattletale and the kids are up there near her. It’s where they stowed the thinkers,” Chastity said.

“Go,” I said.

“Byron’s in charge,” she said.

Byron looked unsteady on his feet.

But I nodded.

Sveta went, without any further statements or questions. A small part of me felt betrayed, like I’d felt in the hospital room, abandoned by family. Which hadn’t been the reality, I tried to tell myself rationally.

I ended up pulling Byron more than was polite, as a consequence of that firm grip and my sense of urgency in getting him some medical attention.