“I think I could, if I had to,” I replied. “I think I got close, in the Shin prison, when she cornered me, but there was a very real risk she would use her power on me, then.”

God, it felt so fucking weak, saying that when I didn’t have the context, with all of these people listening and watching. I could smash through walls, I was invincible, I had my aura, but there had been context there. My teammates’ lives on the line, the hostages.

I desperately wanted someone to chime in, to point those things out, like my mom had chimed in for Vista.

But no, it just hung out there.

“‘Breaking’ someone like Amy could be disastrous,” Narwhal said.

“It might not mean breaking her down one hundred percent,” I replied. “It could mean shaking Shin’s faith in her.”

“I can see the merits,” Cinereal said.

“I can’t,” Narwhal retorted. “The risks are higher, especially when you’re having to make them concerned enough that it outweighs their concern about us, and the cultural fears and concerns that stem from Goddess.”

“But the long-term benefit is Shin realizes this is a stupid idea.”

“What about manipulation?” Narwhal asked.

“She has so much of what she wants, but she wants me, her sister, maybe more than all the rest of it.”

I caught Jessica’s expression changing as I said it. I looked away, and looked at my mom, and… that didn’t make things better.

What the hell was I doing here? Was it possible to feel like I was the only person who could handle this, and simultaneously I was the last person who should be here?

I swallowed. “Just by being a part of this conversation with her, I’m sticking my neck out a bit. But if it takes her mind off her current goals… I can distract her.”

Saying those words gave me a feeling like a sinking feeling, but in every direction, a quiet, crawling horror, and then I didn’t feel connected to the body or the voice that was positing that idea. I could imagine it being like what Darlene did, remotely in a body, managing thoughts, but not owning those actions, thoughts, or that body.

Every second I experienced it, it was worse, colder, more quietly horrifying.

“I would prefer distraction,” Narwhal told me.

“Okay,” I said, still feeling like I was a very here kind of far away. “I can do that.”

“Our goal is to divert the titan.”

“Delay?” I asked.

“We would accept delay.”

“Okay. Feel free to start us up again. I’ll jump in. If I’m unsure about something, I’ll give you a note.”

“You stop if I signal. You listen to any instructions I give you.”

“Got it,” I said.

“I’ll be in contact with Chevalier,” Cinereal said.

The screen colors changed as the ‘mute’ indicators disappeared.

“We’re back,” Narwhal said. “Any issues on your end?”