I shook my head.

“You have control now?” Dennis asked me.

“I think so,” I answered. I thought about it some more. “Yeah. Part of what motivated me to go there last night—”

“Interrupting,” Kid Win said, rushing the word, holding up a hand.

I paused.

“Whatever you say to us is going to be repeated to Valkyrie,” he said. “Full disclosure.”

“Valkyrie might be ticked you said that,” Dennis pointed out. In the moment, he seemed more the somber, almost morose Dennis I’d known.

“Let her,” Kid Win answered.

“I’m fine,” I said. “I wanted to ask her questions. Now I’m asking you, and if you’re her proxy… same end result.”

“I don’t want to betray your friendship with us, or the people we used to be,” Kid Win told me.

I nodded, taking that in. How much of my openness was that? How much was I willing to tell Valkyrie? I wanted to think I’d be open, trust that she might be the most accessible parahuman to me who knew this world, but would I change what I said in the face of the small changes in expression? The particular word choice?

“You’re a good guy, Christopher,” Vista said.

“Mm. I don’t think I am, but thanks.”

“Why don’t you think you are?” Vista asked. “You’ve been a hero as long as I’ve known you, you’re here and you’re being friendly even though it means potentially upsetting the boss. The only dick move you’ve pulled was dying on me.”

“We couldn’t help it,” Dennis said, automatically.

Vista snorted.

“I’m not saying I’m not good,” Kid Win said. “I’m saying… I’m not sure I’m a guy. Human. Humans have childhood memories. One experience layered onto another, with things emerging from that.”

“What are you now?” Vista asked, quiet.

“An end result. A fabrication. The only lasting impressions from the past are the essential ones that made me into me.”

I thought about that.

The wind picked up. I turned my head so the hood would protect me where it was colder. Vista hunkered down a bit, and Dennis took a step to the side, so the breadth of his upper body blocked the wind for her.

“I feel the same way, I think?” I ventured, not sure of what I was saying as I said it. “I feel like the bad days left their disproportionately deep marks in me and who I am today. Too many days of the past few years are a haze. I’m not going to say it compares, but I don’t think we’re that far apart.”