“I can deal with lonely,” Tristan told Kenzie. “I tried to murder my brother and get away with it. Right under this guy’s nose. I lied to his face a thousand times. I felt like utter shit doing it, but I’m not sure that matters. And… I’ve had years to think about it, but I’m wondering if he suspected or knew.”

“He knew?” I asked.

“I think he got an inkling when I couldn’t… wouldn’t. Not while Byron was in there.”

“Marriage?” Kenzie asked.

“No,” Tristan said, blinking. “No, I just saw stars and lost track of my thoughts at the thought of marriage. Don’t hit me with that sudden mental image at ten in the morning when I’ve only had one cup of coffee.”

“Oh,” Kenzie said. “Boning. That’s how Candy puts it.”

Christ. I looked around to see if anyone had overheard. How the fuck was I supposed to navigate this?

Tristan, meanwhile, had put his face into his hands. I wasn’t sure if it was laughter, crying, cringing, or some combination of those.

“Heartbroken are giving you a mis-education, huh Kenz?” Sveta asked.

“Oh yeah,” Kenzie said. “Tristan, Tristan, look at me. Maybe he figured it out, maybe ten percent of him knew, and that’s why he’s so angry, because the whole of him is angry at that ten percent of him. But if you call, sure, he might be angry, you might be upset, but at least you’d know.”

“That could be worse.”

“It could be! But maybe, maybe he’d be willing to forgive you and things would be better. You could do what you couldn’t and wouldn’t do before, which is probably a lot of things, considering you told Rain and Chris you and Byron uh… can’t and won’t, even alone and that’s a lot of not over years and years.”

Tristan stabbed a finger in her direction. “We need to ban you from talking about certain things. It’s uncomfortable. Serious ban. Really.”

“My point is, if you don’t call, then it’s the same as the worst-case scenario. Him angry, you miserable.”

Tristan sighed. “I’m trying to think of a nice way to phrase this. This is where I kind of miss having Chris around, because he’d just say it.”

Kenzie nodded, but I could see her shrink into herself a hair.

I put my hand at her back and gave it a little rub.

“Uh, the sentiment is very much appreciated. I think you’re probably right, Kenz.”

“Cool,” Kenzie said, bouncing a little in her seat, before leaning forward to grab the paper basket that had held the deep fried zucchini and tipping crumbs into her palm. “That’s not something Chris would say.”

“But… take this as gently and lightly as it can be taken, with a pinch of good humor?”