He snorted loudly. Then sniffed, hard, blinking fast once or twice. “You’re Sveta’s friend, for sure.”

“Yeah.”

“She likes to hold out hope. There’s hope, there’s always hope. But that doesn’t do any good, does it? I’m trying to get through the now, and you two are telling me what the future has in store. My boat’s sinking because there’s a big gaping hole in it, and every time I ask for help, my friends say, ‘If you get to shore, there’s an awesome party with great booze, music, and dancing’.”

“What I’m saying—what Sveta’s no doubt saying, is don’t stop bailing out the boat because you’ve lost sight of that shore.”

“I lost sight of shore a while back. I dream of it, but I dunno. One of the coolest night of my pre-cape life, I was teenager, went to a birthday party and it was boys and girls, big house, mostly unsupervised. Someone had the bright idea of playing strip poker. We didn’t get that far before everyone started chickening out and panic-squabbling over rules details until it wasn’t fun anymore, but… that energy, before it went to pieces. You know? The people, wondering if it’s going to be the best night of your life or the night you fuck up so bad you wince about it for years? It’s stuff like that. Jumping off the roof of a house into the pool below and having everyone cheer.”

“I can see it,” I said. “I think my equivalent is different. The cheering I get, I think. Validation.”

“I’m not sure I’m chasing that anymore, and that’s my identity, or it was. I’m not sure I’m bailing out the sinking ship anymore. If I can’t figure out those things, then I’m not sure it matters whether there’s a shore or not.”

“Pretty dark place to be,” I said.

“Oh yeah,” he said. “And I wish I had a not-Case Fifty-Three Weld of my own to lean on or help me bail out the boat, but I don’t.”

“Shit,” I said. “I most definitely hear you on that.”

He smiled.

“I’m not six feet tall, broad shouldered, or all that muscular, but if you want to hammer this stuff out—”

“Nah,” he said, dismissing me.

“Seriously, Tristan. Listening ear, time. I’m not sure I have it in me to dredge up the time I couldn’t bail out, see shore, or even… whatever it is. Remembering the good days. But if you need me to, if you want to tackle this like our team tackles the bad guys, I can try.”

“Don’t. No,” he said. “Because if you tackle this like this team handled the last few things, two-sevenths of you will be gone by the time you’re done.”