‘Did you use a condom?’ Catrin asked, ever the sensible one.

‘Apparently.’

‘What d’you mean, “apparently”?’ snapped Judith, irritated by Lana’s nonchalance.

‘I saw a couple of used ones in the—’

‘OK, OK, don’t need the details,’ Judith sighed, regretting the question.

‘I dunno, there was just something about him … Y’know, like when a guy is confident and funny and … it’s a real turn-on, isn’t it?’

‘Is it?’ asked Catrin, confused.

‘And he had this Northern Irish accent. And he was really fit – he’s a builder. Did you see his pecs?’

‘Lana!’ Judith scolded her. ‘You’ve got a boyfriend.’

‘I know. I know, all right?’ Lana looked down.

Silence descended and the three of them fell into deep thought. The waiter was chatting with some customers nearby, laughing, clearing plates and glasses, unaware of the tension on table five.

‘Oh my God,’ Lana said, breaking the mood as a sudden memory reared its shameful head. ‘I’ve just remembered something …’

‘What?’ said Catrin, intrigued.

‘When he was … y’know …’

‘What?’ asked Catrin, eyes wide open.

‘Oh shut up, Lana,’ said Judith. She was always a step ahead of Catrin and knew that Lana was about to say something gross.

‘At the end, when he … y’know …’

‘Go on,’ said Catrin naïvely.

‘Well, I remember every time he … “finished”, he’d say …’ and she adopted a spectacular Belfast accent, ‘he’d say, “The Irish are comin’, the Irish are comin’!” and then do a sort of Yee-hah! like a cowboy!’

Thankfully the waiter interrupted Lana’s recollection by replacing their ashtray and asking if they wanted more tea. They didn’t. ‘Just the bill, please,’ said Judith.

‘I think it was because I was missing him,’ Lana said mournfully.

‘Who? Gareth?’ Catrin was having trouble keeping up.

‘Oh that’s nice,’ said Judith. ‘“Sorry, Gareth, I was really missing you, so I went and shagged a builder from Dublin.”’

‘Belfast, actually,’ Lana mumbled.

‘Well, that makes all the difference!’ Judith said sarcastically.

More silence.

Judith knew exactly why she felt annoyed with Lana. For starters, it wasn’t meant to be that kind of trip. They’d all agreed before they left that this was about them, the three amigos Catrin-Kelly-Judith-Harris-Lana-Lloyd having a good laugh, and seeing things, and discovering things, and spending time in each other’s company. Because they may never get the chance to do it again! Before they knew it they’d be back home, then off to uni, and the life they’d been accustomed to for all these years – seeing each other almost every day, like they had done since they were five – would come to an end. And now, not only had Catrin fallen in love with some random guy on a daytrip, but Lana had had a one-night stand with some bloke in a bar. Was she jealous? She didn’t think so. Just disappointed.

Because this trip was meant to be about friendship. It wasn’t meant to be a sex fest or a quest for holiday romance. If they’d wanted that kind of trip they could have just booked a fortnight in Shagaluf like Becky Williams and her gang. But they were better than that. At least, she’d thought they were.