‘Nothing new there, then.’

They sat in silence, letting the Christmas-morning sea air comfort them both.

‘It’ll never go,’ said Lana as she exhaled the acrid fumes. ‘There’s always going to be this … missing part.’

Catrin nodded, and squeezed her friend’s hand as she looked out at the ocean.

‘But it’s still early days. It will, one day, feel better than it does right now.’

‘I just don’t seem to be able to put one foot in front of the other. Can’t think about the future, can only take a day at a time. Sometimes I can only manage an hour before I start crumbling. I mean, I should’ve gone back to work by now, shouldn’t I?’

‘There are no rules, Catrin. Stop being such a fucking head girl!’ Lana laughed and kissed her friend on the head. ‘How d’you eat an elephant?’

‘Eh?’ said Catrin, confused. ‘I dunno …’

‘One bite at a time. It’s all you can do.’

And Catrin broke into a small smile. ‘What a revolting thought!’

‘We all miss him, babe. There are so many people in this world with a Solomon-shaped hole in their lives. He’ll never be forgotten.’

And they sat like that in silence for a good half-hour, their hair dampened by the spray, the gentle movement of the boat soothing them in the solitude of their own thoughts.

Their reverie was interrupted by the door of the cabin sliding open as a sleepy, excited Romy came out in her pyjamas.

‘Can we open our presents now?’

And Lana responded with her biggest, loudest Noddy Holder impression, ‘IT’S CHRI-I-I-I-I-ISTMAS!!’

58

Judith

She’d been looking after the baby when she got the call. Sweet little Ivy May, now three months old, born on Boxing Day weighing a healthy nine pounds, and the apple of the entire family’s eye. Having both been back at work since the beginning of March, Dominic and Jack relied upon their stalwart nanny for childcare. But today she’d phoned in sick. And they had found themselves turning to Judith and Gareth for help.

‘It’s no chore, it’s a joy!’ she’d said to Jack when he dropped off his daughter at his parents’ house that morning. ‘I just hope me and your father don’t fight over who gets to cuddle her the most!’ She was trying to put him at ease, knowing that both Jack and Dom felt bad for abandoning their parental duties.

So when Judith’s landline rang an hour later, she presumed it would be either one of the nervous new neurotic fathers, checking in on their newborn.

‘Don’t worry, we’re all doing fine!’ she said as she answered the phone. But it wasn’t Jack. Or Dom.

It was Catrin.

‘I’ve been trying your mobile! Jude – you better get down here as quick as you can.’

Catrin had called her from the surgery, where she’d agreed to do a day’s locum – just to see how it felt to go back to work.

‘I’ve just seen Greta Hughes,’ she said quickly. ‘You remember her, Jude? She was a dinner lady.’