Judith nodded, because what Lana was saying was true.

They carried on sitting in silence.

God, I wish I wasn’t here, she thought.

‘Jude?’ said Catrin.

This was so painfully awkward. She felt like she was seven, not thirty-seven, being told off by a teacher.

‘Right, I’m sorry, OK? About me and Gareth. I mean, obviously I’m not sorry me and him got together, but I’m sorry for not being straight with you from the start.’

‘Yeah, so you should be.’

‘Lana,’ Catrin chastised.

‘But we were nineteen, for God’s sake!’

‘Jude!’ Catrin chastised again. And her two friends sat in sulky silence.

Interrupted by Romy, who hiccupped in support.

Struck by a thought, Catrin continued, ‘Incidentally, seein’ as we’re bringing up old resentments, neither of you ever apologized for wrecking my wedding day. My father-in-law spent weeks making that cake and neither of you has ever mentioned it!’

Judith looked sheepish. ‘Oh Cat, look …’

But Catrin was on a roll. ‘Plus – I’m the one who’s had to play piggy-in-the-middle for the past eighteen years, and what about me and Sol? Never allowed to mention the unmentionable friend, depending on who we’re with at the time. Can you imagine what it’s been like? For all these years. As far as you’re concerned, Jude, Lana no longer existed, and vice bloody versa …’

‘I’m sorry, Cat, I really—’ Lana tried to apologize but was railroaded by Catrin.

‘Look, it doesn’t matter. What’s happened has happened, but can we call this a truce? Or a ceasefire, at least? Please?’

And with Romy merrily gurgling on her lap, Judith held out her hand to Lana to shake.

‘A handshake? Jesus, Jude. Have a hug, for God’s sake!’

‘Don’t push it, Cat,’ said Lana, and Judith felt the strangest sensation of being in agreement with her ex-friend when she spoke, grateful even.

The handshake was brief, clumsy, half-hearted and enforced. But it was a handshake nonetheless.

‘That’s a start,’ said Catrin, looking incredibly relieved.

As was Judith when Gareth’s car pulled up outside the house, preventing the conversation from continuing. She could see the confusion on his face as she quickly climbed in, but it was a good ten minutes before she could tell him what had just happened. Because she couldn’t quite believe it herself.

39

Lana

This was the worst time of night for her – three thirty a.m. When there was nothing on telly, no one was awake, and the thoughts were running riot in her head. Admittedly the wine didn’t help.

On the rare occasions when she’d managed to abstain from booze for a few weeks, life had been a joy – no parched mouth in the morning, no pounding head, no fluid retention and flabby thighs. But most of all, none of this middle-of-the-night anxiety.

Six weeks had passed since the christening. It was evident that because Lana and Judith had actually spent five minutes in each other’s company, Catrin believed everything could now return to how it used to be. That was the thing about Catrin – she was unrealistically optimistic. Or away with the sodding fairies, as Lana preferred to call it.