"You're all excused." He gave the orders, motioning for his maids to leave. He watched as they all filed out of the kitchen door. Gretchen made to leave as well but his hand took captive of her arm. "A word, Miss Riverside," he said, noticing that Gretchen still wouldn't look at him.

Elizabeth sat in Gretchen's arms, a smile on her face as she chewed on a biscuit.

"Victoria," he turned his attention to the maid who was about to walk out of the door. "Take Elizabeth along."

Gretchen seemed to stiffen as he gave the orders, and he immediately knew she was afraid of being left alone with him.

Victoria took Elizabeth from Gretchen's arms, the baby surprisingly agreeing to go with the maid —he found that he was thankful for that fact.

After waiting for the room to empty out, he turned to Gretchen, "Gretchen..." He began, using the tip of his fingers to lift her chin up so she could look at him. The moment her eyes came to rest on his, it broke his heart to see how hurt she was. "I'm sorry." He whispered, taking a step forward.

She shook her head and took a step back.

"Gretchen..." Ethan called, her rejection feeling like a stab to his chest.

"I can't do this Lord Williams, I can't."

"You can't love me?" He asked, afraid of the answer.

"I can't deal with any of this anymore."She said, and he watched helplessly as her tears began to fall down her cheeks. "I know I'm being punished for the things I did in the past, but I've already paid the price, Ethan. I have already lost it all; Matthew, my family's fortune, my home and now, you..."

"Gretchen," He reached for her hands but she stepped further back.

"I can't lose anymore." She whispered, turning to walk past him and leaving his heart bleeding on the kitchen floor.

Chapter Nineteen

Gretchen needed to forfeit dinner altogether, completely certain that she couldn't be in the same room as Ethan after their conversation in the kitchen. But she couldn't, especially because Ellie needed to eat as well and whether she liked it or not, she was Ellie's nanny and was required to put the child's needs before her own.

Heaving a breath and gathering all the courage she had left, she took Ellie and made her way to the dining room. From where she stood waiting for Jacob to announce her presence, she thought she heard voices drifting from the dining area. Were they entertaining a guest for dinner? She hoped so. She didn't want to be left alone in the same room with Ethan, especially now that her emotions were out of control. She didn't think she could contain the urge to fall back into Ethan's arms for much longer. Everything in her regretted her decision to turn away from him when all she had wanted to do was fall into his arms. She knew she had turned away because she was afraid of losing him. Yet, turning away had brought about the result she was afraid of; losing him.