Chapter Thirty Five

Gretchen's small frame laid unmoving on the bed, her red hair sprawled on her pillow. Ethan stood watching her sleep for a while, with her body curled up into a ball.

Finally settling beside her, he reached out and pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her, and burying his face in her neck. He felt her stir in his arms and lean further into his embrace.

“I love you, my love.” He whispered against her hair, with his eyelids pulling shut.

The image of Juliet flashed through his mind, and as he held Gretchen close against himself, all he saw and felt was Juliet —the warmth of her lips pressed against his as his arms automatically curled around her waist, pulling her further into him. Losing control of every restraint he thought he had, Ethan had torn his lips apart, eagerly welcoming hers as his hands explored her dress in search of the lace that held it in place. He had found it impossible to fight the desire to want to rid her of her clothes and had nearly succeeded but for the timely intervention of Jacob.

Groaning, he fought to shove the image aside as guilt washed over him —if Jacob hadn't walked in on them, Ethan knew he would not have been able to stop himself, and it was this knowledge that left him lying in bed beside his wife, hating himself.

Tightening his hold around Gretchen, Ethan fought against the shame that weakened his limbs. He suddenly desired to go back to a few minutes ago and stop himself from giving in to Juliet's seduction. Heck, if he could go back to the past, he would stop himself from ever falling in love with Juliet!

“I'm sorry,” He kissed Gretchen's neck, his lips trailing her neck to her lips in a failed attempt to get rid of his shame.

Moaning, she stirred in his arms.

“Ethan?” She whispered against his lips, her hands moving slowly up his shoulders until they were settling on his face.

Reaching up, he took captive of her hand and planted a kiss on her knuckles. He couldn't look at her —shame made it impossible to look her in the eyes even if he knew she was looking at her.

Her body pressed further into his as her hand settled on his chin, nudging his head up until he was staring into the most beautiful brown eyes he had ever seen as she smiled at him —a smile that left him weakened. He desperately needed to tell her what had happened and to confess his sins, but he couldn't; he couldn't be the one to take this smile away. He couldn't be the one to fill these eyes with tears.