The carriage came to a halt before the building and Ethan helped her down without a word.

Guilt washed over her as they walked silently into the building. Unable to bear the guilt any longer, she turned to him in the hall, taking captive of his wrist as he made to go up the stairs. He turned to her.

“I didn't mean to embarrass you, Ethan.” She whispered. And she hadn't; it was not her intention to disregard his instructions or to shame him before them, but apparently, she had managed to do both.

Sighing, he turned to Jacob —whose presence she had forgotten about— and waved him off. Turning to her once Jacob was gone, he said, “Perhaps not Gretchen, but you did.”

“I did what every sane woman would do if she thought there was a snake in the room trying to steal what belongs to her.” She folded her arms, annoyed.

“I'm not a piece of property to be stolen. That being said, Gretchen, it's best if we both get some sleep.”

Tears welled up in her eyes, her old defenses coming back on.

“Do I embarrass you, Ethan?” She called after his retreating back, fighting to keep her tears streaming from falling as he turned to her, a frown creasing his face.“I know I'm nothing like those women back there but this is who I am! You're upset with me for being so forward in a room full of important folks but did you even notice that Henrietta was flirting with you?” She swallowed the lump that had managed to build up in her throat.

“I'm sorry Gretchen, how could I have noticed that fact when you were the one who had your tongue in my mouth?” He spat.

His words felt like a slap to her face. Hitching a breath, her eyelids widened.

He released a loud breath, his shoulders sinking. “Perhaps we rushed things...”

“Ethan...” She breathed, losing control of her tears as she watched him shake his head.

“We're two different people from entirely different countries and social backgrounds.”

“Yet, only three nights ago, you were confessing to loving me.” She shook her head—surely this wasn't happening. “I guess now that you've been around those perfect beautiful ladies —having been away for so long— you have decided that you would be better off with one of them.”

“I'm asking for a little more time Gretchen, that's all.”

She shook her head, stepping back. “I'll give you so much more than time Ethan, I'll give you space as well.” The words poured out of her lips, tearing her heart to several pieces. “Good night, Lord Williams.”

Turning to walk past him, she made her way up the stairs.

She laid in bed that evening, unable to get a second's sleep. Her tears flowed unrestrained down her cheeks, her fingers clawing around the edges of her pillow. For a second, she thought she could be happy with Ethan, but she had been wrong; he was perfect and she was only his child's nanny. Perhaps she was being punished for being so horrible to Matthew's wife? Perhaps this was punishment for trying to ruin his marriage? Perhaps she was wasting her time thinking she could ever be happy?