Why wouldn't he just say it?! She felt frustration coming on as she watched his back. She turned from him and faced the dark sky. She had been wrong to think he felt anything for her and the fact that she was even asking him about it —practically throwing herself at him— was shameful enough. As she stood with her eyes planted on the night sky, she remembered his words; she was to rid herself of thoughts of being his wife. She intended to start tonight. She would bury those thoughts as she had fought to bury the thoughts of being with Matthew even after he had gotten married to someone else.

Shamelessly, she had fought to destroy Matthew's marriage in the past; to take back the man she had pushed away. She had fought for a man once and had lost; she wasn't going to do it again.

“Love,” Ethan's voice drifted to where she stood.

She closed her eyes and heaved a breath, allowing his word sink into her being for a few minutes. He was afraid of love for a reason —was he starting to fall in love with her?

“Ethan...” She whispered softly, turning around just in time to watch him make his way back into the building, leaving her standing on the front porch all alone.

Chapter Fourteen

Ignoring Lord William's presence became harder to do as the days progressed. There were times Gretchen felt his presence looming over her as he watched her from his room's balcony. There were days she felt his gaze linger on her for much too long, and there were times she thought he was working extra hard to avoid making eye contact with her.

Perhaps she was crazy, but as she sat on the grass that evening with a book in her hands, she felt his presence on that same balcony, the feel of his gaze as it bore a hole in her back, making it impossible to concentrate on the book in her hands. Indeed she had been staring at the same chapter of the book for an entire week and was simply unable to get past two pages with her mind occupied by Ethan.

A part of her enjoyed his attention; it had been a while since a man paid attention to her. Yet, she feared she might be mistaking Ethan's attention to his daughter, for attraction to her, and she knew she couldn't afford to bear the consequences of her mistake. She didn't want to have feelings for yet another man who would find it impossible to reciprocate them.

But she knew she was starting to feel something for Ethan and the evening of the ball only helped to heighten them. She had relived that evening several times in her mind, right up to the point he walked away from her, leaving her standing all alone on the porch. And although she had retreated to bed after that, she had laid sleepless for several hours, her mind coming up with what she knew could have been a better ending to the perfect evening with Ethan. She imagined him taking her in his arms and confessing his love for her, rather than walking away from her, leaving her standing all alone on the front porch. She imagined what it would be like to feel the warmth of his lips on hers, rather than the pain that accompanied his neglect.