I shouldered my way through the hall after final bell, thinking there was no way the impacted corridors met the current fire safety codes. Proving my assumption, I spotted Kori just as the backpack on some guy in front of me slammed into her, knocking her into her locker. She kicked back her leg and tripped him; he stumbled into the crowd, jostling three cheerleaders. They squealed and started whacking him repeatedly with their pompoms. Just another fine example of our high school’s version of paying it forward.

“History was evil,” I growled.

Kori pried her glaring eyes off backpack guy. “Halls are evil!”

I flashed the principal’s note at her. “Yeah, I’d say they’re about even, drama. Mom’s picking me up.”

Then I proudly showed off my new flour baby.

“So did Doc tell you guys how long we’re supposed to lug them around for?” Kori asked.

“No. But remember that Web site thing, the Postcard Secret thing we’re supposed to check out for a month before doing our own? I bet it’s like that.”

“A month? Hell no. What are we even supposed to do with these things? Did he tell you guys?” she asked.

I thought about how Doc had unceremoniously plopped one into my arms. I’d laughed, almost dropping it, and with a sheepish grin, said, “Heavier than it looks.”

“That it is,” he’d returned. “That it is.”

“Not really,” I told Kori. “We spent the whole time decorating them. Maybe we’re supposed to be keeping a diary or something. Write down when and what we feed them?”

“Forget that,” she said. Then: “You should’ve seen Marci Mancini’s face when he assigned it. The horror that it wouldn’t match her shoes.”

“Yeah, doesn’t exactly make the perfect accessory, does it?”

“Hey, did I tell you? I asked Doc if it was too late for me to get an abortion.”

“That’s sick, Kor.”

“Well, he didn’t say no.”

“Really? That’s weird, because Ashley gave him this huge speech about abstinence—”

“Ashley Simsroth? The chick who always saves a seat for Jesus at her lunch table?”

“Yeah, don’t let her Passion of the Christ panties fool you— total abstinence advocate.”

Kori laughed. “Well, that settles it. She’s sooo not invited to my rainbow party.”

“I saw that! I was a little hurt I had to hear about it that way. Anyway, so Ashley tells Doc that she practices abstinence, so she can’t possibly get pregnant. And Doc was all, ‘So, I guess the Virgin Mary was a liar, huh?’ and she started hyperventilating.”

“Yeah, ’cuz Mary is her homegirl.”

“Right. So now she has the Immaculate Conception Flour Baby and is treating it like the Second Coming. So what did Doc say to you … about the abortion?”