BooksBarbecue
Back Undone Save as PDF
Chapters (34)
  1. Cover
  2. undone
  3. Dedication
  4. one
  5. two
  6. three
  7. four
  8. five
  9. six
  10. seven
  11. eight
  12. nine
  13. ten
  14. eleven
  15. twelve
  16. thirteen
  17. fourteen
  18. fifteen
  19. sixteen
  20. seventeen
  21. eighteen
  22. nineteen
  23. twenty
  24. twenty-one
  25. twenty-two
  26. twenty-three
  27. twenty-four
  28. twenty-five
  29. twenty-six
  30. twenty-seven
  31. twenty-eight
  32. twenty-nine
  33. thirty
  34. Acknowledgments

“Oh, Mother, you have no idea how much it really is.” And with that, I was out. So freaking out. I stormed into my room and slammed my door.

She was quickly pounding at it. “Serena!”

I grabbed up a pair of jeans. T-shirts.

“Serena! I wasn’t done talking to you!”

“Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk! That’s all you ever do!” I screamed. Then I grabbed a fistful of the “Let’s talk” notes from my wall, opened my door, and threw them at her.

“That’s it, Serena! You’re grounded.”

I shot her a big fake smile. “Great, fine. Super!” I said, then shut my door and locked it. When I heard her turn up her meditation music a few minutes later, I ducked out my window.

twenty-nine

The surface of the reservoir sparkled. From my spot on the retaining wall it looked like a thousand stars had come down to soak in the cold water. The air stirred and I took a deep breath.

In my pocket my cell phone buzzed. I pulled it out and looked at the screen. Mom.

I turned the phone off and dropped it in the grass. I tried to picture her at our house, standing and listening to the sound of my phone going to voicemail. I couldn’t see her face, couldn’t imagine what she might look like. I didn’t even know her anymore. A dark part of me didn’t care if I ever saw her again. Another part was terrified of what I’d just allowed to happen to us.

“Serena!”

I turned to see Lexi running toward me.

“Get down. You’re going to kill yourself!”

“Not unless I bomb the dismount,” I said with a grin. “Hand, hand, foot, foot. Easy.”

“Serena, don’t. Please.”

“Don’t what? I’m not jumping.” I looked down at the cutting rock, felt a quiver in my stomach.

“Get down. Please!” When she got close enough, she made a grab for my hand.

I pulled it away. “It’s just a cartwheel, Lex.”

“No, it’s not. None of this has been just anything. It’s not just a pair of jeans or just some lipstick. It’s not just one lie about a date. And it’s not just a cartwheel.”

I turned toward her. “I swear I’m not jumping,” I said, hopping down so she’d stop grabbing at me. “I just wanted to do a cartwheel. Kori did them all the time.”

“Serena, why are you trying to be like Kori?”

“I’m not. I’m just …” I sat on the retaining wall, unable to finish the sentence. I wasn’t even sure how to explain, and I really didn’t feel like trying with Lexi of all people. “How did you know where to find me?”