“In his mind, I’m sure he did. It’s not mine. If it were, we’d take care of it. That’s the way he asked, Serena. It wasn’t a question. He didn’t want to take care of you. He wanted to make his problem go away.”

I thought about Marci and Adrian, and I trusted what my mom was telling me. I’d been so convinced my mom had never really wanted me. But now I finally understood. It wasn’t that Mom hadn’t wanted me; it was that, just like Marci, she chose to have me over everything else.

Mom was right, something like that doesn’t happen by accident. But it didn’t happen because of fate either. It happens because you embrace it with all your heart and hope.

It didn’t excuse everything, though. “So why are you with him now?”

“I can’t explain it. It’s not always easy when your heart’s involved.”

“Kori knew. You knew she did. And you forbade me to see her. She was my best friend. My sister! Were you so scared she’d tell me that you couldn’t risk my being friends with her?” I ignored the pained look on my mother’s face. “That you couldn’t even let her in our house?”

“I was wrong. And yes, I was scared. Serena, all your life you’ve wanted to know who your father was. You built him up in your head as this wonderful person who could come in and make everything better. And I’m sorry to disappoint you, but he’s just not capable of being that. I knew if I told you who he was, you’d want to meet him. You’d find a way. And then you’d be crushed.”

“You don’t think he deserved to know?”

“No. I don’t. He made his choice that day sixteen years ago. He gave you up. If he had his way then, there wouldn’t even be an opportunity now. So no, I didn’t think he deserved to know.”

“But still you took him back.”

“Serena, I know how this must look. But we haven’t been together this whole time. Not by a long shot. We were apart until about two years ago. He sent Kori away and realized he’d made a mistake. He hated himself for it and he turned to me. And after losing Kori, he’s needed someone who would listen and be there for him.”

“You were more than just friends,” I said, pushing the words through my teeth, hating the way they tasted. “You were having an affair.”

“It’s not so black-and-white. Things aren’t as perfect as they seem on the outside.”