‘I feel no pain. The blood oozes out in a satisfying way, black in the dimness of the room. As it spills onto the white duvet, I cut again. The blood pours out this time, down my arm, down my hand, on to the bed and on to the carpet. But still I feel absolutely nothing.

‘And then it occurs to me that perhaps I am a ghost, I am already dead. That is why no one saw me – not Josh, not Evie, not anyone on the bus, in the street. This is some other reality in the future that I have stepped into. I keep hacking at my wrist as if to prove it. Nothing! I can feel no pain at all because I am already dead. What a relief! What a marvellous relief! I cannot die again. The Devil didn’t get me! I tricked the Devil! I just keep slicing and the blood gushes out and I keep being a ghost.

‘I have to tell the children that I am safe, I am in heaven. Josh and Annie, my lovely children. I quickly leave the room and race up to Josh’s room, no longer caring about squeaking floorboards; I am made of light. I am weightless. I push open his door. It smells bad – of socks and teenager. But he isn’t there. Does he openly sleep with Evie? Was I never to be consulted again in decisions of this nature? Of course not, I was dead! I made my way back down the stairs and pushed open Annie’s door.

‘Polly and Annie are both in the lower bunk, sound asleep. Annie is taking up all the room, sleeping with her arms and legs akimbo like a starfish, still in her giraffe suit, poor Poll squashed up against the wall. I put the bloodied scissors down beside the bed and I bend down and kiss her warm cheek. I bury my face in her sticky neck. She doesn’t even stir.

‘“My darling,” I whisper. It’s like coming home. My love for her is all-consuming. “I’m dead, I’m in heaven.”

‘And it feels so good and so safe. I must protect her. I must keep her from the Devil. I know then, as I breathe her in, what I have to do. I can save her now. I have to save her. Poor Annie, she has my genes, there is no hope for her, far better that she come with me now, where I can protect her and shelter her from him, because he’ll want her too, to get his revenge on me. It’s too late to save Josh, he is a man now, but Annie, she needs me.