When Mummy was picking me up from circus club after school we were walking home. Polly and Ness ran to catch up with us and Ness took Mummys arm but Mummy jumped away from Ness and said something to her in a nasty whisper voice and she dragged me hard by the hand and started walking really fast. Ness tried to follow us and she looked like she was going to cry. OF ALL PEOPLE I THOUGHT YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND Ness shouted at Mummy. And Mummy stopped dead still without turning round and started laughing in this way that wasnt laughing at all. I said understand what? But Mummy said grown up stuff. She doesnt seem very grown up to me. Frankly if I was Ness I would cancel the surprise party (but I hope she doesnt. Polly and I are bringing our swimming things to it even if its not a swimming party). Then later she wouldnt let me go round to play with Polly. She is a smelly poo and I hate her.

Emma looked at Connie, her glassy stare; she was miles away, oblivious. She flicked through to the last entry in the diary: 16 November. Gently she touched the blank paper, her fingertip running across the lines, the abrupt ending, the words unwritten, the life on hold. She noticed one of the pages was not aligned. She let the book fall open at it. It was half ripped; presumably the page Connie was reading on the CCTV last night. Emma slid the two sections together.

Oct 10

Josh and me saw Grannys dead body today. She was lying in bed in her nighty all white with her mouth open and no makeup on her face and wrinkles by her ears. She still had joolry on. Granny died in the night yesterday without waking up. In the morning Grampa thought she was sleeping and brought her some coffee in bed but she had cold skin. He wont let the undertakers take her away. Uncle David arrived this evening. He has a prickly face.

Oh God, Connie, she wanted to say. You knew this; you knew your mother had died; they told you, at Milton House, I’ve checked the notes. What a peculiar way to rediscover her mother’s death – from her daughter’s pen. But everything about Connie’s life was peculiar now. She read on.