Chapters (48)
- Cover
- About the Author
- Dedication
- New Year’s Eve 2019
- New Year’s Day 2020
- New Year’s Eve 1989
- New Year’s Day 1990
- New Year’s Day 2020
- 1 January 2020
- New Year’s Eve 2015
- 2 January 2020
- New Year’s Eve 2015
- 2 January 2020
- 2 January 2020
- 5 January 2020
- New Year’s Eve 2010
- 6 January 2020
- 14 January 2020
- New Year’s Day 2001
- 15 January 2020
- 15 January 2020
- New Year’s Eve 2003
- 1 February 2020
- 1 February 2020
- New Year’s Eve 2007
- 3 February 2020
- 4 February 2020
- New Year’s Eve 2010
- 17 May 2020
- 17 May 2020
- 17 May 2020
- 13 June 2020
- 13 June 2020
- 21 June 2020
- 8 August 2020
- 9 August 2020
- New Year’s Eve 2003
- 15 August 2020
- New Year’s Eve 2019
- 13 September 2020
- 20 October 2020
- 25 October 2020
- 30 December 2020
- New Year’s Eve 2020
- New Year’s Eve 2020
- Acknowledgements
- Read More
- THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING
‘I’d like to hear more about her,’ said Minnie softly, looking over the rim of her coffee cup at him. ‘You mentioned she struggles with some things.’
Quinn puffed out his cheeks, exhaling. He put his cup down on the grass and started massaging one wrist with his palm.
‘OK, well, the potted version – she suffers from anxiety; sometimes she struggles with leaving the house. She wasn’t so bad when I was a child, but when my father left it got ten times worse.’ Quinn stared down at his hands.
‘I’m sorry, that sounds tough. Does she see someone? Do you have anyone to help look after her?’ Minnie asked gently.
‘She sees a therapist, a doctor. I’ve paid for carers in the past but she takes against them all in the end. She’s up and down. And when she’s down she’ll only see me.’
‘That must be hard,’ said Minnie, ‘to be that relied upon.’
Quinn brushed a hand through his hair; he sat up and pulled his knees to his chest.
‘Enough about me.’ He picked up his coffee again. ‘I’m sure it’s very boring. People have bigger problems.’
Minnie watched him, waiting for him to look over at her again.
‘I don’t think the scale of other people’s problems make your own any easier to live with.’
Quinn paused, dropping his gaze to the grass between them.
‘I think what I find hardest is that I often feel I’m enabling her to be a prisoner. I do errands for her, order her shopping, I come running when she needs something. She has this ongoing anxiety about house security, the locks not working, or paranoia that someone’s in the garden. Every time I’ll come over to check, just to ease her mind.’ Quinn’s brow puckered as he stared down at his empty cup. ‘Once I didn’t go when she called. I just said, “No, walk out of the front door and go to the pharmacy yourself, it’s a three-minute walk.”’ Quinn paused. ‘I’d had enough.’
‘That’s understandable,’ said Minnie.
‘She had this terrible anxiety attack, fell down the stairs, twisted her ankle. The cleaning lady found her the next morning, still lying there. God, why am I telling you all this?’
‘Because I asked.’ Minnie put an arm on his shoulder.
‘What kind of monster leaves an agoraphobic alone in the house without her medication?’ he said, turning to look at her, his eyes burning with emotion.
‘Someone who tried everything else and didn’t know what else to try.’
This confident, sure-footed man suddenly just looked like someone in desperate need of a hug, but Minnie didn’t dare initiate one.