I was struck by a strange sense of guilt. As if I had been caught playing with something without permission. But I had not done anything wrong! I have always bought a lottery ticket; I did not want to stop. I like the excitement of the draw. I like the way the balls drop down. Very little else in life is so regular.

I thought: life goes on. I live, I do my felting, I buy my lottery ticket, I get things when they are on special offer in the supermarket.

But I feel now that this must be about something else. But what, exactly?

Am I the butt of some kind of joke?

What will happen next?

Then I happened to see the documentary about you on television, and I thought, that man will surely understand my situation. That man had a brush with fate, just like me. Perhaps he can give me an answer.

The BBC was not willing to give me your address but a kind production secretary has promised to forward this letter. I will put my contact details below.

Best wishes,
Annu Heiskanen

Dear Mrs Heiskanen,

I’m a fisherman by trade. I catch lobsters and crabs, and I live in a wee cottage with my wife. In our garden we grow runner beans, potatoes, three kinds of cabbage and pumpkins.

You ask for an explanation but you’ll have to find one yourself, I’m afraid, because in my experience, what others say won’t help.

Regards,
Hamish MacKay
PS my address is below.

Dear Mr MacKay,

Forgive me for writing again. I do understand that I have to solve this myself. But you seemed so calm in the documentary, and I was left wondering: are you not afraid, or annoyed? I am furious, myself! Or I would be, if I knew where to direct my fury.

It is not very often a person can draw a line on a calendar to demonstrate the exact point at which her life changed. But you and I, Mr MacKay, we can. One could argue that I have been trapped by good fortune, and you by misfortune, but it is not that simple. Listen, the rug can be pulled out from under your feet with no suffering involved. That is why I wrote to you and why I write again. Forgive me. I am just so alone with this.

Regards,
Annu Heiskanen

Dear Mrs Heiskanen,

Believe me, I’ve also asked: is this a joke? What does it mean? But those questions don’t get me anywhere, and that’s why I’ve stopped asking.