I shake my head firmly. Then Dad just sits on the edge of my bed and lets me be. In the end, I come out from under the cover, my hair and neck wet with sweat.

‘You’ve got growing pains,’ Dad mutters. He pushes sweaty strands of hair off my face. These days, that’s Dad’s standard explanation for everything. Dad can’t believe some of Mum’s old clothes already fit me. He thinks growing up that fast must hurt.

After Dad’s gone, I lie in bed quietly, thinking. The Lovely Baby lies there wondering why Mother – who tinkled with her bear bell, dripped river water and loved chocolate – has become a ghost. Mum, who was as soft as a woolly jumper, who rose into the heights of the apple trees, and warmed clothes in the heat of the stove.

If only Dad would come back and tell his Lapland story again. If only he would talk about the Lovely Baby, who was born by means of an incision and almost made Dad himself faint. If only ordinary Mum would come back and invent a better ending for herself. If only she would tell stories properly and not add in too much of her own stuff. Without an ending, there’s no story, but I don’t want an ending like this.

6

6

When we lived at Extra Great Manor, I was the only girl at school with sheep and chandeliers at home. And a secret chamber, though not even my school friends knew about that. I was the Manor House Girl or the former Lovely Baby, and when the Manor House Girl had her tenth birthday, she pretended to have a ball with her friends. Auntie Annu lit the candles of the chandelier and poured juice in tall glasses for everyone. The Manor House Girl and her friends ran around upstairs, climbed into the room in the tower and stroked the sheep. Her friends said: ‘You lead a strange life – your mum’s dead and you’ve got fifteen bedrooms.’ But they were too scared to go to the toilet by themselves. The toilet in the manor house was at the end of a long corridor. Auntie Annu had painted it dark red and hung framed black-and-white photos on the walls. One frame contained nothing but glass, under which you could see all twelve layers of wallpaper that had been found on the wall.

The Manor House Girl took her friends to the loo. They asked if she wasn’t scared because there were so many empty rooms, but the Manor House Girl told them about a ghost hunter who had checked out the place before Auntie Annu had bought it. He had said that the house had a good atmosphere; Auntie bought it only after hearing that.