‘Yes, they are. They’re really fucking infuriating.’

‘If you say so.’

‘I do, thanks. What else do you talk about with this woman?’

‘Mum. Dad. Tactics for not getting pissed off with people. That’s the bit I like least. It’s sort of linguistic reprogramming. I’m not allowed to say “People always do this” or “You all do this”.’

‘I’ve been saying that to you for ages.’

‘But when you say it you’re usually denying my right to be angry about the behaviour of certain men because you think I’m attacking you.’

‘That’s what you think I’m doing, but what I’m trying to do is say I agree with you that these men are awful but don’t lose hope in all men. Because if you lose hope there’s no hope.’

‘Well, it comes across as you telling me there’s something wrong with me that makes men treat me like that. Because I’m not sufficiently upbeat for them.’

‘That’s not what I mean. You should know that.’

‘Should. You’re not supposed to say people “should” do things either.’

‘This woman sounds a bit basic to me.’

‘Don’t belittle her. She’s a reason to be optimistic. You should think about why you want to belittle her.’

‘Because she’s a woman and I’m a man?’

‘That’s not what I meant. What a stupid thing to say. Have you noticed how you’re getting angry now?’

‘I’m not getting angry.’

‘Then why’s your voice getting louder?’

I looked up and realised the couple nearest to us were looking at us.

‘Because,’ I said, in a hushed voice, ‘you’re talking in that soft way like a meditation instructor and it’s fucking provoking.’

‘You should go to something like meditation.’

‘I’d rather relax doing something intelligent, thank you.’

‘Fuck you, thank you,’ she whispered. ‘You’re full of rage.’

‘So are you.’

‘So what are you going to do with it?’

‘No offence, Amy, but you’ve been to two sessions with a psychologist and now you’re Melanie Klein? Give me a break.’

‘I’m saying I’m worried about you. Stop being so angry. Try to calm down. Focus on the present.’

‘Fuck living in the present. I want to take revenge for what’s been done to us.’

‘And you want to come and live with me and help me raise a happy baby?’

I looked away. ‘If you wanted me to.’

‘You tell yourself that. Now try breathing out slowly. That’s what I do now. You take more in-breaths when you’re angry than when you’re relaxed.’